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I am struggling with moving on!

Updated on: 08 February,2023 05:48 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love |

Take it one day at a time, allow yourself time and space to miss her, and believe that this is something you will survive and move on from

I am struggling with moving on!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I was in a relationship for six great years, until it was time for us to settle down. We broke up for a silly reason. I lost my job during the pandemic, and my girlfriend asked me to grab new opportunities. I tried my best but didn’t find anything for almost a year. I was also under pressure from my family to get a job. We were fighting a lot about the future at the time. I finally got a good job, but we broke up. I cried a lot and called her, asking for another chance. She agreed, and we decided to take a month to discuss this, but she chose to separate again. We have had no contact in eight months. I love and respect her unconditionally, and don’t know how to move on mentally. I dream about her every night. She will not come back to me, and I have heard that she will soon be married. How do I move on?
— Santosh S
She has already decided to move on, and her marriage leaves you with no option but to accept what is now inevitable. It’s okay to dream about her and miss her, but you will also have to acknowledge that the grief you are going through cannot be wiped away and will have to be dealt with because it is part of the human condition. This will not be of any help to you, obviously, but all you have to do is accept that you are in pain, and that you may take some time to process it and heal. This will not be easy, and the sadness you experience may be overwhelming at times, but there will also come a time when it begins to ebb, leaving you with the clarity of thought that only comes when one has been through something difficult. Take it one day at a time, allow yourself time and space to miss her, and believe that this is something you will survive and move on from. 

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