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I feel like I was the only option!

Updated on: 26 October,2022 07:46 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

If he really wants to be with you, he should have no problem giving you all the space you need until you are comfortable. Also, remember that if either of you change your minds about each other, that is your prerogative as adults too

I feel like I was the only option!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few days ago, a guy I used to date in college years ago messaged me on Facebook and began chatting. We had been Facebook friends for a long time, but he had never messaged before, so I was surprised. He was pleasant to chat with and asked if I would like to meet him for a cup of coffee. I agreed because I thought it would be nice to get to know him, considering we had never said much while we were in class together. He turned out to be very interesting and I agreed to meet him for dinner a few days later. We have now gone out a few more times since, and I am beginning to have feelings for him. I think he feels the same way. When I asked him why he had never had a real conversation with me before, he said he didn’t think I was his type. Apparently, he only reached out because he ended a relationship a year ago and was struggling with meeting someone new. I don’t know how I feel about this admission, because it makes me feel like I was the only person available. How do I know if he genuinely likes me?
You are under no obligation to get into a relationship with anyone until you feel comfortable. His reasons may be strange, and you may be the person he reached out to out of loneliness or desperation, but the fact remains that it takes two people to make a relationship work. If his actions don’t match his words, you will know that soon enough. Spend more time with him, get to know him under different circumstances, and tell him you’re not ready if he asks you to consider a relationship. If he really wants to be with you, he should have no problem giving you all the space you need until you are comfortable. Also, remember that if either of you change your minds about each other, that is your prerogative as adults too.

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