I am a 30-year old guy and have been dating a woman two years younger. We have been together for almost a year, and I am pretty sure she is bisexual or probably lesbian. It’s about everything she says and does, and I don’t have a problem with her sexuality at all, but she refuses to even acknowledge the possibility that she isn’t straight. I wish she would accept it and we could be friends, because I have no problem with her in my life. I just don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who very obviously wants to be with a woman but is with me for reasons that don’t make sense to me at all. I can’t break up with her because I don’t want to hurt her, but this is starting to feel like a lie. What should I do?
Her sexuality is her business alone, so the idea of her acknowledging or accepting it will always be her prerogative. What you should do is focus only on your relationship with her, and whether your assumptions about her sexual preferences are affecting the bond between you two. If they are, and you aren’t comfortable being with her because it feels like a lie, you are harming her as well as yourself by not being honest about this. I suggest you examine your motives, talk to her about what isn’t working, and let her come to terms with her sexuality on her own, whenever she is ready or willing to do so. Until then, you’re not helping anyone by being in a relationship you don’t want to be in.

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