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I haven’t told him the truth about me

Updated on: 19 February,2026 08:10 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

His past should matter less than the present, how he treats you now, and how you feel about this relationship. If he doesn’t want to be with you, he won’t.

I haven’t told him the truth about me

Illustration/Uday Mohite

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I ended up in a relationship with someone based on a false narrative about who I really am. I lied about my professional history and made myself sound like a much nicer and more interesting person. He is madly in love with me, and we have been together for three months now, but I keep wondering if I have misled him into falling in love with a version of myself that doesn’t exist. I really want to be with him and am wondering if he will leave when he finds out about my past. Should I be honest anyway and hope for the best? I don’t know how he will react, which is why I am constantly afraid.
No relationship can survive without honesty, so you’re right to be concerned about this. There’s nothing wrong with some embellishment because many of us do it, but you alone can decide if what you have said is so far from the truth that it creates a fraudulent picture. If you want to come clean, the sooner you do this, the better, because you owe it to your partner. If he walks away, that is his prerogative given what you have done. However, it is also possible that he may listen to you and decide what to do next based on how he sees you, or how he has seen you over the past three months. It’s okay to be afraid about how he may react, but you have to keep the bigger picture in mind if you want to build something genuine with this person.

Everyone has a past, but my boyfriend keeps telling me things about his earlier relationships that make me wonder if I will ever have a long-term commitment with him. I had no idea he had dated so many women before me. What should I do?
His past should matter less than the present, how he treats you now, and how you feel about this relationship. If he doesn’t want to be with you, he won’t.


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