Being in love is great, but you have to be kinder to yourself and take as much time as you need to be comfortable with any kind of intimacy. Your partner needs to know this too
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I dated someone for a year, and we broke up because I thought we had nothing in common. It has been four months since then and I now regret splitting with him. I have come to realise that it was too soon for me to try and question whether we had similar interests because he was just starting to understand me. I messaged him a few days ago and told him this, and he thanked me for saying it. When I asked if we could meet, he said he was not interested in me anymore. I feel terrible because I think I have lost someone who genuinely cared about me. What can I do to convince him that we should give this another chance?
It’s a sign of growth that you have re-evaluated your relationship and come to some understanding about it that didn’t exist before. It’s important to recognise that your partner has probably done a bit of soul-searching too, hence his response to your message. Ending a relationship always leads to questions as well as answers, and it’s obvious that he doesn’t see things the same way anymore. You can reach out once more and state your case, but it’s his prerogative because second chances can’t be forced. If he doesn’t have an interest, this is doomed before it begins.
How do I get over a fear of physical intimacy with my boyfriend? I am 22 years old, and he is a year older, but we can’t get physical because I tend to get anxious. It’s not as if I don’t love him. What can I do about this?
You can ask for patience and accept that it’s okay to be anxious. Relationships evolve and physical intimacy is an important aspect of it that is also tied to emotional closeness. Being in love is great, but you have to be kinder to yourself and take as much time as you need to be comfortable with any kind of intimacy. Your partner needs to know this too.
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