Try and define what your partner is doing that is hurtful, and gauge how this makes you feel. If your partner doesn’t acknowledge this hurt, it’s a sign of disrespect and possibly abuse
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been struggling with depression for a while now, and this has affected my relationship with my girlfriend in multiple ways. I was transparent about my condition before we began dating, but she acts as if it doesn’t bother her in the least which probably makes things worse for me. Maybe I’m expecting too much from her but, whenever I struggle with feeling low, she avoids me until I get out of that slump. She says it’s because she doesn’t know what to do or how to handle my moods, but I suspect it’s just an easy way out. She loves me a lot, but I get the sense that it’s only when this is convenient for her. If I break up with her and date someone else, I worry that this situation will repeat itself. What should I do?
It’s not always easy for someone to empathise with what you’re going through, nor is it possible to say that everyone has access to the tools or coping mechanisms required to deal with anyone suffering from any illness. However, you’re not wrong to have expectations from your girlfriend given that this is a relationship built upon some inviolable tenets. We all want partners who care for us and understand us, but empathy is one of the fundamental traits upon which successful relationships are built. If you feel as if your girlfriend doesn’t empathise, or doesn’t want to make any effort, this relationship has no future. Tell her why you feel this way, and don’t assume every relationship you get into will be exactly like this because people aren’t the same.
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How do I know if my partner is being emotionally abusive to me?
Try and define what your partner is doing that is hurtful, and gauge how this makes you feel. If your partner doesn’t acknowledge this hurt, it’s a sign of disrespect and possibly abuse.
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