If you feel this way, it’s wrong and unfortunate, and your girlfriend should be called out on it until she accepts that this is a serious issue
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My girlfriend broke up with me two months ago saying we are too different and have little in common. This is after we had been together for a year-and-a-half. I was hurt at the time but didn’t argue because she was convinced that this wouldn’t work out. I have been sad about this since then and was surprised when she messaged me a week ago to ask if I could meet. When I met her, she said she had been thinking and wanted to try and make things work. I asked what had changed and why she felt as if we would now have things in common after being sure we didn’t, but she had no clear response. I don’t know if she is doing this just because she feels she made a mistake, or if she genuinely wants to make it work. Should I agree to go out with her again?
She may have had second thoughts, which is perfectly acceptable, but only if there is some clarity about what she thinks went wrong and how she believes it will be different this time. You don’t have to commit to anything until you feel more secure about this. Ask yourself if you want her back and want this to work. If you do, but still need time, ask for it and explain why you want to take things slow. Use this period to discuss every aspect of your relationship so you are both in a place where you understand each other better. Allowing this to happen on its own, in an organic manner, will put you on a stronger footing and prepare you for a second opportunity.
When I argue with my girlfriend, she humiliates me. Is this normal?
If a relationship is healthy, there should be no room for humiliation or anything other than mutual respect. If you feel this way, it’s wrong and unfortunate, and your girlfriend should be called out on it until she accepts that this is a serious issue.
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