You should be able to say this without any guilt because that is the sign of a healthy relationship. If she understands that too, she shouldn’t have a problem
Illustration/Uday Mohite
How do I confront my boyfriend about pictures and files I found on his computer? They were pictures of women I have never known, and I don’t know if they are ex-girlfriends, friends, or anyone he has been in relationships with. We had a pact not to talk about our past before we began dating, so it’s not as if he has lied to me about anything, but the number of women came as a surprise because I always assumed he had just been with two or three people before we got into a relationship. We are considering a serious commitment, so I worry if this is a conversation I should have at all. The past shouldn’t matter, but what if there is something serious that we should discuss? What should I do?
If you have both accepted that the past doesn’t matter, that’s where this should end especially if you have decided to build a future with this person. Curiosity is normal, but you should ask yourself what you want to know and why. You have both presumably been in relationships with other people and consciously decided not to talk about them. Changing your mind is okay, but only if you are prepared to accept any revelations. If you have doubts, they should certainly be addressed to avoid any misunderstandings. However, if you choose to let the past lie and look forward, that is your prerogative too. Do what brings you peace of mind.
Would it be bad to tell my girlfriend that I want to spend time with my friends? It’s not as if I don’t like being with her, but she is with me all though the week and I sometimes like meeting other people without her around.
It’s normal and healthy to spend time with people other than the person you’re in a relationship with. You should be able to say this without any guilt because that is the sign of a healthy relationship. If she understands that too, she shouldn’t have a problem.
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