Should I take my ex back?

I am a 27-year-old woman and have been single for three months after ending a four-year relationship. We were supposed to get engaged when my ex decided he wanted to reconsider a serious commitment. The shock was brutal, and it took me by surprise, along with my family and friends who didn’t expect this either. He recently messaged saying he had thought about this a lot and wanted to get back with me, but I am not sure how to respond. On the one hand, I love and miss him and want to be with him. On the other, the casual way in which he dismissed a long-term relationship makes me extremely nervous because I don’t know if or when it might happen again. My friends don’t want me to take him back and I see their point because they know how hurt I was, but I am conflicted. What should I do? I am still in love with him.
You don’t have to commit to anything you don’t want to, because your feelings are justified and his behaviour is not. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to evaluate a relationship, but the manner in which this has been done suggests a lack of communication and an absence of honesty in your relationship. If there was dialogue, this wouldn’t have come as a surprise, nor would it have been difficult for you both to consider a planned separation while he thought about what he wanted. Choosing what to do next depends upon how you see him and what your plans for your future are. You can always choose to meet, ask for time and space, and let this evolve in its own way. Your family and friends may be unhappy about it, but the onus of changing their minds lies on him, not you. Take it slow, draw your boundaries, and use this time to have serious conversations about what you both want. If he still isn’t clear, while you are, you will know what to do.

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