Fighting or arguing are normal because they allow you both to understand each other a little better
Illustration/Uday Mohite
This isn’t a question about me, but it involves my best friend’s husband. Apparently, he was at a party with some common friends and had a bit too much to drink, after which he was overheard telling someone that their marriage was over. I didn’t say anything about this to my friend because she has never mentioned anything to me about it, and I have been looking for signs to see if she is upset or troubled. She seems perfectly normal, and I don’t know if this is a rumour or something someone misheard, but I have been debating whether to tell her this or not. If he is planning to end this marriage, shouldn’t I give her time to process what he has said outside so she is better prepared? Isn’t that what a good friend should do?
What happens within a marriage is really between the two people involved, and no one else. If he chooses to tell her something, he will within the privacy of their home. A good friend is one who offers support, a shoulder to cry on, and any other help necessary when required. Until then, to rely on rumours or the possibility of something misheard to cause unnecessary issues in someone’s life is the opposite of a good idea.
My boyfriend and I have to constantly try and tell ourselves that fighting is bad for our relationship because we do it all the time. We sometimes wonder if it’s worth being together when all we do is argue, but we also make up and feel like it’s something we both want. How do we fight less and learn to love each other more?
Fighting or arguing are normal because they allow you both to understand each other a little better. As you point out, the two of you know that you want to be together, which is all that really matters. There will come a time when everything else starts to feel a little more frivolous. Hang in there until then.
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