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We barely meet once a month!

Is this reason enough to end an otherwise loving relationship

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Illustration/Uday Mohite

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have a boyfriend, but our relationship is unstable because we don’t live near each other, and this means we only meet once a month or so. It’s a hard situation to manage and I don’t see a way out unless one of us moves, which depends entirely on our financial situation. I live alone and often feel very lonely, which makes me wonder if I should be with someone who can spend time with me in person rather than online. Is this reason enough to end an otherwise loving relationship?
Loneliness can cause serious harm to your physical and mental well-being so you should definitely take it seriously. If your relationship isn’t meeting a fundamental need, it may not be right for you despite the love you feel for each other. Ask your boyfriend how he feels, and if he has any hope of things changing. If you are both certain that the distance isn’t going away, you should evaluate the pros and cons of what this means for your present as well as your future. Base your decision upon your ability to cope with the current situation, and if you are okay with accepting things the way they are. If you aren’t, listen to your body and mind.

A few weeks ago, I told a friend that I had feelings for him because I was under the impression that he felt the same way. He apologised, saying I must have misunderstood him, and I feel foolish. I am ashamed to meet him because I don’t know what to say. How do I fix our friendship?
Why assume this has harmed your friendship in any way? You made a mistake, which could happen to anyone. Take it on the chin, go back to chatting the way you did, and any potential awkwardness will melt away in the face of your shared history. Avoiding him will only make this harder to manage in the future, so be mature about it. This will make it easier for him too. 

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