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Wondering if he is a red flag?

Updated on: 15 June,2024 06:52 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

There is no right or wrong time because this is a personal decision based on how comfortable one is with one’s partner. Being patient is always a respectful thing

Wondering if he is a red flag?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

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A few months ago, I met someone using a dating app. We hit it off and decided to meet again. After two dates, he was not very communicative, and I got the sense that he was not going to contact me again. I made my peace with this because I didn’t want to force him, even though I thought he was nice and that we got along well together. Last week, after no messages for weeks, he suddenly reached out asking if I would like to go out to dinner. I was curious, so I agreed, then asked him why he hadn’t contacted me for so long. He said he wasn’t sure about me but had asked me out because his mother told him to. She had asked about me, my family and personal history, and told him that I seemed like a good person to be with. I was surprised that he would do this and am wondering if it is a red flag.
A lot of people turn to their parents for advice about their personal lives, and his doing something to please his mother isn’t a red flag. What is concerning is the absence of interest on his own part though, because the need to reach out to you should have come from him based on the rapport you shared during your previous dates. There is no harm meeting him again and trying to evaluate what he is like, as long as you aren’t getting into a relationship because his mother thinks it’s a good idea. If he isn’t convinced, you’re better off on your own or with someone else. Relationships don’t work when they are managed by third parties.


When is the right time for someone in a relationship to be ready for sex? It has been six months, and my partner is still hesitant.
There is no right or wrong time because this is a personal decision based on how comfortable one is with one’s partner. Being patient is always a respectful thing. 


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