Kajol: I am not doing movies anymore which require me to cry

We watch her every couple of years or so on screen her next film Pradeep Sarkars Helicopter Eela is round the corner Over a career spanning 26 years shes done 38 movies a rather restricted filmography if you compare say to young Taapsee Pannu 29 who already has 37 credits on her IMDb profileFulltime mom wife that films come naturally to her is a given She is the fourth generation female actor in her family from mother Tanujas side Wed traced her fascinatingly intergenerational paternal roots in Bollywood on Sit with Hitlist with actor Rani Mukerji But Mukerji is her secondcousin We start this interview therefore withWho is MayuriShe is my mamas Jaideep Samarths daughter We lived with my mama and mami for a long time So Ive grown up with Mayuri and her sister Madhura They are Townies from South Mumbai You might just know them So be careful with what you sayKajol gets chatty at the latest edition of Sit with Hitlist We spoke to your first director Rahul Rawail Bekhudi 1992 earlier to trace your journey into films He told us he first saw you at Gautam Rajadhyakshas photo studio Rajadhyaksha had written the script for Bekhudi They were looking to cast the female lead Mayuri was therefore at the studio for a photo session You were accompanying her But Rawail looked and decided to cast you insteadYes pretty much thats how I joined films It was just a question of right place right time and right people Mayuri was supposed to get her pictures clicked I went over to hold her hand She wanted to get into films Id seen my mom and how hard she worked I didnt want to work that hardSo we were sitting around talking Gautam was like Why dont you get your pictures clicked as well Mickey Contractor is there to do your makeup Mickey and I got along the minute we met He like Gautam adopted me And Rahul uncle saw the photographs and offered me a filmId like to add that Mayuri went on to do an ad And she didnt like it at all She came back from the shoot and said Im so not getting into this On the other hand I shot for the film and had a great time When offered the role you apparently said Hey I dont mindWell I had two months summer vacation in college I was told we would shoot in Canada and a little bit in Bombay as per my college schedule I said Cool I dont mindI dont mind is a pretty easy way to get into any profession noYes but I didnt think of it as a decision It was just a try a sample sachet almost that you get at a shop I remember my dad saying Ek bar chuna lag gaya toh lag gaya Nikalne wala nahin hai Toh soch lo Once you wear the paint it never goes off I said What nonsense What difference does it make if I do a film or not But I lovedenjoyed my film And the next one came along and then I questioned whether college was worth it might as well go along with this thats exactly what I didThe other thing Rawail told us is how you fell off the first floor during your shoot and became temporarily blindYes we Rinku the first AD whos Rahul uncles niece literally tumbled down the slippery stairs from the messhall after dinner We were doing something like 18 hours shift a day obviously not in the best frame of mind Fortunately I fell on top of Rinku She really got hurtWhat he said was that she actually fell on you You went in the emergency room came out half hour later perfectly fine while Rinku was being wheeled outYes she did come out in a wheelchair I couldnt see a thing Everything was just white I probably had a concussion So here we were in a foreign country with these two young girls in emergency room Rahul uncle must have thrown a sh fit wondering whats going to happen to his filmAnd to youNo he must have thought about his film first for sureDuring Kuch Kuch Hota Hai KKHH you similarly fell off a cycle and temporarily lost your memoryIve got a hard head what to do It keeps hitting and nothing happens permanently I think my morbid sense of humour comes from that My mom tells me about how as a kid I would keep falling and that it didnt matter Im sturdy that wayGetting back to the accidental beginnings of your career and a whole bunch of movies thereafter You talk about being your harshest critic We all have an opinion on what your best films have been Is there any performance that you remember to be your worstI dont know if Ive had a worst performance touchwood Ive been pretty honest to my work throughout whether Ive believed in them or not Theres always been a standardThe actor gifts a goodie bag to her fan and midday readerA basic minimum you mean How about your underrated best thenIve had a basic standard yes And it goes far above sometimes and remains at that level most of the time I think one of my best performances was in a film called Udhaar Ki Zindagi 1994 which I loved But it didnt do very well at the boxofficeIt took so much out of me that I actually reached a crisis point and told my mom Im not doing movies anymore which require me to cry or do anything very heavy I want to play an ornament have three scenes four songs Thats it Im just drained After that I signed on Hulchul Gunda Raj even Karan Arjun for that matterWhile shooting with Shah Rukh for Baazigar I remember him telling me You know babe youve got to learn how to act This honesty wont take you very far Youve got to learn the technique of acting as wellYou mean an element of detachmentNo just technique to not put 100 per cent of yourself into every shot You have to learn how to pull back and use your technique instead Thats whats going to help me in the long run And I was like Im doing alright so far no Why do you want to unnecessarily jinx it Shoot is going well Stop getting so detailed about itBut when Udhaar Ki Zindagi actually happened I remember going back to what he had said and thinking Sh he was right Thats when my process of learning started on how to do things in a notsoinstinctive manner but in a predictable and thoughtout manner insteadSurprising that you had to learn this by yourself or from Shah Rukh Your mum had been an actor for years As had your aunt Nutan for that matterBut I wasnt one to go on sets Also my mum especially kept work out of the house At home more than work wed discuss people Shed talk about Raj Kapoor and the people she had worked or was working with never the actual work itself Thats also something Ajay Devgn and I follow at home Work is just something we do we dont sit and analyse itGlad you mentioned Raj Kapoor For your family from mothers side is the female equivalent to Kapoor clan Your greatgrandmother grandmother mother and now you all have been actors Can you take us through that piece of history starting with Rattan Bai your greatgrandmother who became an actor at 40 only two years before your grandmotherHonestly I wont be able to take you through that because I knew them as just my greatgrandmother grandmother and mother And they were amazing women I didnt pay as much attention to what they did on screen as what they did off itMy mumma as I would call my greatgrandmother was this awesome strong lucid intelligent woman even at the age of 80 She was 86 when she died I was 11 or 12 then I was closest to her She barely ever left the house but always knew what was happening in the kitchen and in everybodys livesThen there was my grandmother Shobhana Samarth again a very driven practical and strong personality She was all about what works and what doesnt And I had my mother Tanuja who I really respect for the way shes handled her life and the strength she exudes to stand up and say So far no further As for what she wants to do shes ready to stand up and say Okay Im ready to face the consequences and make my own pathWatch the video of the interview on wwwmiddaycom Give us an exampleIts a silly example but so typically her I saw her picture once and said Mom you wore a lungi to a party She was like So cool it was I had them stitched myself They were stylish supercomfortable the slits werehellip And I couldnt get over the fact that she wore a lungi to a partyShe did things her way Automatically when you see that theres a much stronger learning experience than her telling me so My mom for instance had a bad habit of abusing She had the best gaalis ever and she was known for them On set people would actually poke her till she turned around and delivered her famous gaalis And then theyd be like Haan ab din achcha chalegaOne day she told us You cant say sh I went But you abuse all the time She was like Okay I wont do it from now And she gave it up She put a swearjar at home put money every time she abused by mistake That was another fabulous learning experience She could have easily said Listen to me because I tell you so which are the most famous motherwords everEvery time I had a question as a child she either had an answer for it or went outside and found one that was acceptable to me Even the fact of her marriage with my father I remember asking Why cant you and dad be together She said As adults were better people when were not with each other And I said Okay that makes sense So she had an answer for every question about the meaning of life or death when my relatives were passing awayWhat did she tell you about deathTo never be scared That the body gets old but soul is eternal Of course one has to trade up for a better packaging a newer versionYou also had an extremely strong grandmother She in fact directed your mothers first film Hamari BetiI remember her as a firebrand She was 65 and would drive up to my boarding school in Panchgani once a month in her battered Ambassador car Friday evenings and take me for my dental checkup to Pune drop me off to school on Sunday and drive back to Bombay the same day My mother was busy working She took care of me in every way she couldShe was driving till she was 85 in this bright blue Maruti 800 in Lonavla She had six dogs big house and lived all by herself She would drive to the market get groceries She was known as the Queen of Lonavla These are the independent women I have seen all my life And they never spoke about womens empowermentSo thats about the SamarthMukerji family By the way is there a reason why you dont keep a surnameI was too confused about whether it should be Mukerji from fathers side or SamarthMukerji I told dad lets not keep a surname Just Kajol is good because I didnt want anyone to associate anything with me I knew there would be huge expectations Tanujas daughter Shobhana Samarths granddaughter My fathers side has an entirely separate lineage Everyone in film industry either knew me or were related to meSo whats your name on the passportKajol Devgn after marriage before that it was Kajol MukerjiStepping back to your career youve had definitive milestones The most recent one last year was when you did your second Tamil film VIP 2 since Minsara Kanavu Sapnay 1997 Is it true that Hindi film actors down South rattle one two three four instead of actual dialogue and get away with itYou can probably But I didnt want to even when I did Sapnay An actor always takes pride in their performance You have to live up to that standard Dhanush and Soundarya in VIP 2 helped me manage my lines and rehearse well First three days were tough He Dhanush was prompting from one end and I was saying lines at the other whilst trying to keep the look rightSoon I got into a rhythm There was a pattern and I was beginning to understand a bit of what I was saying My pronunciation was pretty good too I am good with reproducing sounds Okay that sounds really wrong It just got easier with timeWhat are the languages you know Which one do you think inI think in English I speak English Hindi Marathi and can understand BengaliA reason I bring up your South film is because few weeks ago marked 20 years of Mani Ratnams Dil Se And you had turned down that film WhyBecause the dates were not working out I did want to work with Mani Ratnam and God willing will We are both active in movies I had signed on KKHH Karan had SRKs dates and he would have had to cancel the schedule because he had bulkdates from everyone Karan was very generous to suggest Go You are getting a chance to work with Mani Ratnam Who am I I didnt feel it was the right thing to doSo the story goes that Mani Ratnam called you up and you thought it was a crank callI put up a retropicture on my Instagram recently sitting on a car bonnet which is when Mani Ratnam called and I thought Shah Rukh was pulling a fast one I laughed and put the phone down Then Shah Rukh called to say Baby its really him Hes trying to call you I was like Oh damn It was a rocky startThats 1998 You do KKHH In 1999 you get married By 2001 its clear you wont have as many releases in a yearI took that call in 1999 itself People said I was at the peak of my career But I have never understood what peak is I was just exhausted by the pace of doing four films a year running from Hyderabad Bombay Panchgani to Switzerland London Thats not life Its gadhamazdoori donkeywork I wanted to get married It was the right age I had been working for 10 years It was the right thing to doYou decided to become seriously choosyI was picky always And then came a time when I didnt want to do more than one max two films in a year I wanted to take it easy chill take a sixmonth break It gave me perspective and thus earned me more appreciationYou had a fiveyear break after Toonpur Ka Superhero 2010 What made you pick Dilwale 2015 of all films to return withI loved my character in the film her graph and how she was portrayed There was an unexpected twist in the plot It was a fullblown love story but I was sold on that scene where she tries to kill him loveinterest I also did the film because of the way it was going to be put togetherDo you remember films youve said no to and not because of datesLots For me it has not always been about the script so much There are other factors too besides script good director producer in that order I have to like people I work with to be in a place where I say this is not working lets redo it A good film is not possible if there is no communication between departments To have the freedom to talk to colleagues necessarily enhances workSpeaking of people theres Karan Johar youve evidently loved working with Why did you say no to Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna KANKHe wanted to shoot KANK in New York for 90 days I said I cant My husband would leave me if I decided to go off for three months leaving my little daughter alone Karan sweetly let me pass and made the film he wanted toAlso it doesnt matter how many films you do in a year In Mumbai at least theres always one running at a theatre Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge DDLJ no Have you thought about why it still strikes a chord across generationsIt is now like a family heirloom People pass it on over generations I meet people who watched it when they got married It was also the first film they showed their kids Good films are timeless They are about what they make you feel DDLJ still makes you cry and will continue to workDid any of you predictknow about its likely impactNot even Adi director Aditya Chopra We didnt even know if it would do well All Adi kept saying was Mujhe hit picture banani hai It was his takiakalam standard refrain He thought with DDLJ he was making a cool version of a tapori film shot in tabelas and mountain tops with chiffon sarees in snowbanksTheres also the trivia about Adi Chopra originally looking to cast Tom Cruise in DDLJHe did want that Thats a wish list Every director has onet After that we come back to earth We are like Apne desh ke hero ko lete hain Lets take a local hero In his head he probably had Tom Cruise with Meg Ryan starring opposite I doubt Meg would have a Bauji in her life laughsIn many ways the film also spoke about how you can turn around peoples thoughts and judgmentsI like the fact that it was not about rebelling which is synonymous with youth It talked about respecting a parents love Raj has this scene where he clearly says its unfair to take away ones daughter in such a manner It went against what the youth was saying then Which was the twist in that taleThere is also that larger romantic film idea of soulmate Its worked over generations Youve been married for 19 years do you believe in the ideaI was lucky to have found someone I love And I do believe in soulmates who you may not always instantly recognise They are found over time It starts with a connection One day you turn around and the veil comes off You realise he was the one all along Sometimes it may take a month to realise this sometimes 40 yearsHow long did it take youThree hours We were shooting the film Hulchul in an ugly garage He was sitting on an ugly chair far away smoking I was bitching about him not being friendly at all We started shooting I had to slap him He had to dramatically hold my hand I knew there was somethingTo trace your reallife romance we basically have to watch Anees Bazmees Hulchul 1995 and find the moment where Ajay Devgn stops you from slappingAnd at that moment there was a voice in my head saying that this person is going to be really important in my life It was an instinct I was already going around with someone else So was he We were just acquaintances sitting on the chair beside each other working on the same filmOf course we finished the film and signed up another one three months later That was the phase where I didnt want to do anything in a film So I did Gunda Raj 1995 with him Towards the end of that shoot our relationship beganThats for personal life Speaking of profession how did you and your top onscreen partner Shah Rukh Khan meet did you have a hunch you were going to become the it coupleWe met on the sets of Baazigar 1993 Like the rest of the unit he was so hungover It was January 1Why would you work on January 1Because Shah Rukh had this stupid belief that if he works on the years first day he would get to work throughout the year So we land up on the sets Directors Abbas bhai Mustan bhai and I are the only people sober and happy to work Everybody else is like Lets just do easy shots with minimum dialogue Dont drag chairs loudly or push the table hard That was the vibe on the setI was completely oblivious to the fact that its January 1 For me it was just another day And as you must have noticed I do not speak at a regular tone If I have to make my point the volume gets louder So I was howling shouting in Marathi which was an alien language to him Shah Rukh His makeup man was Maharashtrian I was bitching to him about what kind of a boss he had sitting in a corner head down completely moroseShah Rukh was giving me stares that clearly meant Somebody shut her up I was putting him through maximum torture Later we sat down and I was like Hi how are you He told me Dont you ever stop talking And I was like Why should I stop talking I have to speak the lines check this long piece of paper Lets start rehearsing Then of course he started talking as well And once Shah Rukh starts it is difficult to wind him downIf he wasnt an actor Shah Rukh could have easily been a spiritual guru with all the gyaan on lifeLove guru laughsFrom what I hear if one met you in the 90s theyd be scared to even interview you if you agreed to be interviewed at allYou should be scared today as well I am much older laughsAs public figures do you sense that contrast between you and SRKYes I do But it didnt make much of a difference Theres a strange bondingexperience you have when you are working with a person for so longOf course I was aloof and I am like that even today very guarded about my privacy I am not social I dont attend parties I dont drink and so I find it difficult to go to the bar and ask for coffee But over time we Shah Rukh and I became friends And weve known each other for really long which counts for itselfHave you ever been able to decode the onscreen chemistryIve never tried I dont know what works I feel it has a lot to do with our onscreen history the fact that we both chose some good films together and few of them happened to be love stories When you see love stories succeed as an audience you tend to believe that when the couple comes back on screen they will fall in love again We have put that myth into everybodys heads Honestly I would like to believe that we are good actors laughsHow important is it for you to like your costarIts important but not necessary I think a good actor can fake it and a lot of the time does I also think that when there is somebody that you like in front of you its much easier to fake itFor instance in Helicopter Eela Riddhi Sen my costar is a well broughtup boy and he plays my son So there is already a lot of bodylanguage between us that would have been missing if he had been an obnoxious kidThere are YouTube jokes on your unibrow Can you laugh at yourself and enjoy such things AudienceI dont know the joke but if there are then kudos Honestly I dont think its worth the trouble going through them I am glad that it unibrow has become a statement and that I dont have to go through the hassle of getting rid of it Im okay with itBut thats what a whole lot of people back then and even now think of you someone who doesnt give a damn And that is cool by definition But few years back one noticed you began caring about how you dress up for instance Was that a conscious callYes it was and that was only for one reason My daughter was born I wasnt working I was just thinking once about whether I like black or white or red I didnt have an opinion on the subject despite being one of the most opinionated people around I didnt know whether I wanted to wear a jeans or skirtIf I thought about these things there would just be a big blur So I set about finding what my opinion was And yes there was a lot of trial and error I guess a lot of people go through this during their teens I never did as I always had someone standing with a hanger telling me what to wear I wasnt given a choice and even if I had been I wouldnt know how to express it So I sat down and realised that it isnt rocketscience People far dumber than me have been successful at itYour husband mentioned on Sit With Hitlist that he didnt really have an acting process He comes on set say his line and its done What about you AudienceNo I dont do any great preparation So far I havent had any role out of my comfort zone In my head I have a graph that I want the character to follow and I keep building on it With scenes I keep an eye on where it falls on the films timelineDid Dushman 1998 take a mental toll on you AudienceIt was a tough film I had initially refused it when Pooja Bhatt and Tanuja Chandra came to me I wasnt comfortable shooting a rape scene I thought it would take a toll on me physically Both of them sat me down said that being women they would shoot it aesthetically That it wouldnt look gory They promised to shoot with a bodydouble which they did interspersed with one closeup of mineWould that be a rare dark film of yoursYes I havent done too many Rather I havent gone to the dark side yet laughs Trust me it is more difficult to make people laugh than cry Every actor will tell you that Also I dont agree with films that have no hope in the end and everybody dies Thats not who I am and its not the message I want to send acrossAs actors I believe we have a superpower to make people feel and I dont want people to feel that Id love to do action or thriller but there should be a happy ending like Mills and BoonWhich of your characters have you been closest to Simran DDLJ or Anjali KKHH AudienceI dont identify with Simran probably because I didnt have her kind of parents I cant relate to giving up everything just for a principle Yes I did a very good job with the character but I think Im more like Anjali or Sanjana in Pyar Toh Hona Hi Tha 1998Final question Why is your Twitter handle kajolUNOriginally the Twitter handle was made for when I was going to speak at the United Nations on child welfare Then it got just too famous to bring it back to KajolTranscribed by Mohar Basu Sonil Dedhia and Sonia LullaAlso Read Kajol Starrer Helicopter Eela To Now Release On October 12Catch up on all the latest entertainment news and gossip here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates