The problems of parenting amid a work-from-home schedule

Am I doing It right This is a question that many parents are asking themselves in the new environment of lockdowns and quarantines Long before the pandemic words like stress worry guilt fear have been part of the emotional lexicon as a working parent With remote working social distancing health and wellness issues and all the uncertainty of the pandemic everything feels like its ten times harder than before Most parents I know would agree that while working from home has its pros and cons a year into it we all are still struggling with the dilemma of how best to juggle a fulltime job be present as a parent and find some time for ourselves One of the muchtouted benefits of remote working is the flexibility it offers in ones work schedule WorkFromHome WFH is perhaps the biggest disruption to the concept of the formal workspace since its advent in the 1800s The rigours of a 9to5 job have been replaced with a work where you are when you can approach Most of us save a lot of time and energy in a day now that we dont have to battle the great urban commute Ideally it is supposed to enable people to live a more stressfree life For example take a virtual meeting in the morning help the kids set up for their online classes do some more work take a break to do chores around the house spend time with the kids do some more work have family meals together etcWhile this sounds quite utopian the reality is far from it If you appreciate dark humour youll see what I mean when I say that one is always dashing these days dashing off because your kids need you in the middle of work and dashing off because your work needs you when youre with your kids It feels like one is doing more work than ever before both as a professional and as a parent Theres a sense of guilt that one is not doing justice to either The lines between work and home have become so blurred that were all used to seeing the insides of our colleagues houses and its almost normal when someone must take a break to deal with a domestic crisis in the middle of work The routines that you spent most of your adult life setting up have been thrown out of the window The new normal doesnt feel normal at all So how does one regain ones balance again The bad news is that there is no onesizefitsall solution to this dilemma The good news also is that theres no onesizefitsall solution If theres no right answer then at least youre not going to be wrong I feel that it comes down to finding a rhythm more than a balance Instead of trying to replace routines and schedules I think it helps to think of it as finding a fluid rhythm to ones day Instead of making strict plans I find that it helps to factor in all the major priorities of the week and then to move things around that This would create enough wiggle room to do things when theyre needed For example its one of those days where your kids are in a happy place and they want to spend more time with you Instead of sticking to your routine and then feeling guilty or sad all day that you couldnt be with them try moving things around so you have a couple of hours to spend with the kids and then catch up to your schedule later on Similarly suppose you have some work that needs you to be absolutely focused or its one of those days when you feel inspired and would like some alone time to work distractionfree its a good idea to trade do not disturb time with your partner or a family member so that they can be in charge while you work You could do the same for them as well Instead of a strict routine that you feel you must live and die by allow yourself to try a softer more fluid rhythm where you can make the best of each moment I find that the best part about this approach is that it allows you to address your needs and wants in the present taking away that feeling of missing out or not doing enough The act of moving things around to suit what best needs to be done in each moment will also give you a sense of control and help you feel less overwhelmed in the long run One of the things that has helped me find my daily rhythm is to think of things in terms of the things I must do and the things I can do instead of worrying over all the things I should do Another strategy that Id espouse is to do multiple tasks but not multitask For example you could have a variety of different things you need to do in a day but you do them one at a time Trying to being mindful and present in every moment really helps to keep the stress away Be your own best friend Be compassionate to yourself and above all be kind to yourself You are doing the best you can and that really is enough Neerja Birla is the founder and chairperson MpowerAlso Read Womens workwear is changing in the pandemicThis story has been sourced from a third party syndicated feed agencies Midday accepts no responsibility or liability for its dependability trustworthiness reliability and data of the text Midday managementmiddaycom reserves the sole right to alter delete or remove without 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