Dear Diana,
I'm 31 and seeing a man who is my age. We've been together for more than two years now. He is caring and nice, but I often get this feeling that he is with me to satisfy his sexual urges. When I say no, he gets angry and does not talk to me for days. I have to beg him to talk to me again. I feel I am a puppet in his hands with him deciding what to do.
— Vijaya


Illustration/ Amit Bandre 

Dear Vijaya,
You allowed him to have an upper hand all this while for the fear of losing him. You did whatever he wanted because of sheer love. You did not want to annoy him and face his wrath. So he has been used to the situation. He demands and you give in. No wonder you feel like a putty in his hands. Start thinking for yourself. If you are feeling used, tell him so in no uncertain terms what you think of his behaviour. You can't give in to his demands every time. The very fact that you are feeling that you are being used is a clear sign that things are amiss. In an equal relationship, partners must listen to the other and try to understand the other's viewpoint.