Does your ex deserve a second chance?

If rumours of Katrina Kaif and rumoured exbeau Ranbir Kapoor getting back together are to be believed Kat is allegedly giving relationship claustrophobe Ranbir his space this time around Does love always deserve a second chance We ask the expertsRumour has it that alleged exes Ranbir Kapoor and Katrina Kaif are keen to give their relationship a second chance According to reports the couple is alleged to have broken up over trust issues This time around however both parties are willing to give each other more space Actors Katrina Kaif and Ranbir Kapoor at the premiere of Prakash Jhas Rajneeti on June 3 2010 The couple are rumoured to be getting back together againIn a California State University survey 2004 of 1300 adults one third 33 claimed that they would reunite with their first loves if they could While this is not the first relationship for either Ranbir or Katrina the lure of an ex is still powerful according to clinical psychologist Mansi Hasan Emotional dependency is a big aspect of wanting to get back together and work on a past relationship says Hasan adding that contributing factors include the sense of comfort belonging and the fact that the couple has already been through the teething stageCouples hoping to give their relationship a second chance however need to be alert to reactivating certain conflict patterns or habitual ways of reacting within the relationshipWhen a person feels insecure they are likely to feel threatened and view the situation as a win or lose one explains integrated healing coach Ameeta Sanghavi Shah The important thing is for each partner to be able to step out of set ways or patterns of thinkingSet ground rulesThe first step in that process Sanghavi Shah says is to remember that no one is winning or losing There needs to be respectbased communication with certain ground rules No use of abusive language no threatening no ultimatums she suggestsAnother indicator of whether or not an excouple is likely to have a successful relationship the second time around is analysing the reasons they broke up in the first place According to data by Nancy Kalish professor of psychology California State University of the 2500 couples who had reunited almost 84 per cent got back with someone they had been involved with before the age of 22 and had broken up with for reasons ranging from age too young distance or lack of parental approval as opposed to those who broke up based on compatibility issuesIf there are certain dysfunctional behaviour patterns such as addiction impulsivity or physical or verbal aggression then it might not be such a good idea says Hasan Aside from these issues which she categorises as extreme the odds are stacked in favour of the coupleThey have already worked through the teething stage so the fact that they are willing to get back together is already a positive sign Selfreflection matters too as Sanghavi Shah says Therapy or introspection is important so one knows how to deal with conflicts when they arise2 guaranteed romance killersGoing back to the past If you have both decided to give the relationship a second chance avoid referring to past behaviour Repeating old patterns Since you are likely to already be aware of behaviours that have hurt your partner in the past try not to repeat them