Faith might move mountains. But can it wreck a marriage?

TomKat is no more After a muchpublicised whirlwind romance and five years of being married to the worldrsquos biggest movie star actress Katie Holmes decided to walk out of their lavish LA home last weeku00a0The 33yearold actress is reportedly staying in New York with her sixyearold daughter Suri while Cruise mdash said to be blindsided by the news mdash is filming on location in Iceland for the scifi actionadventure Oblivionu00a0 Actress Katie Holmes and daughter Suri spotted walking in Manhattan New York in 2008 Pic Getty Images According to reports the couplersquos religious beliefs mdash specifically Cruisersquos alleged devotion to the Church of Scientology a controversial faith founded by writer Lafayette Ronald Hubbard in 1952 mdash is said to be one of the reasons for the split ldquoReligion plays a significant part in an individualrsquos life thus playing a primary role not just in marriage ceremonies but in marriage as wellrdquo says Dr Anjali Chhabria who is a psychiatrist with Mind Temple a counselling centre in Juhu Chhabria adds that following different faiths or belief systems can impact a marriage with gender playing a role in the mix ldquoGirls face more difficulty as they move to their husbandrsquos house after marriagerdquo she says adding that while the modernday nuclear family setup does make it easier for couples to adjust when the couple has a child differences are bound to crop up ldquoReligion may become important again as when the couple has a child each one might want the child to follow their own religionrdquo she says Chhabria stresses that it is important for the couple to talk about expectations ldquoMarriage is a 5050 partnership where both partners need to reach a compromise to have a long stable and happy married liferdquo Psychiatrist Dr Dayal Mirchandani however says that differences neednrsquot be necessarily restricted to couples of diverse faiths ldquoEven if one is from the same caste or religion there can be differences about how to follow the faith If one is following a cult for example it can give rise to more differences as you are not just battling the spouse but also friends and familyrdquo he says Family ties It might take a village to raise a child but it takes a family to keep a couple together believe the experts ldquoFamily and social pressure is the topmost stress factor that couples face in an intercaste interfaith marriage Most couples will be blamed for putting their parentsrsquo reputation at stake Resistance from parents creates friction between couplesrdquo says Chhabria Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise in 2006u00a0Pic GetTy Images ldquoThere is a staunch belief in our society that people from different religious backgrounds will not be able to adjust to each other This creates added pressure on the couplerdquo adds Chhabria who believes that it is crucial for couples to talk about these issues so as to be able to anticipate potential areas of conflict Issues can range from eating habits and religions practices to attitudes towards premarital sex ldquoI had a couple come to me once who were of different faiths One was a Muslim and the other was a Christian They decided to convert to a third faith so as not to confuse their childrdquo says Mirchandani Parents who believe that children can be raised to choose their own faith might be jumping the gun according to Mirchandani ldquoKids can never decide about religionrdquo he says Following a religion or being spiritual however might be crucial to a personrsquos emotional wellbeing Says Chhabria ldquoThe sense of being one with God adds value to an individualrsquos life Research suggests that religious spiritual people are happier and healthier than their counterpartsrdquou00a0 Keep the faith 3 things couples can do to have a healthy relationshipu00a0 Think about getting through lsquothe every dayrsquou00a0 Right from accommodating each otherrsquos dietary preferences to whether or not there will be idols in the home experts say that it is important to talk about how your lifestyle and routine is likely to impact your partner u00a0 Talk to each other Often And certainly before the weddingu00a0 ldquoIt is important to talk about potentially contentious issues so that they can be sorted outrdquo says psychiatrist Dayal Mirchandani He adds that partners should reach an understanding that is beneficial to both so as to avoid resentment later Respect your partner ldquoCouples should respect each otherrsquos religion have realistic expectations about one another and be honest with each other to ensure that there is no room for regret or disappointment in the marriagerdquo advises psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria The way we were gtgtu00a0Like most Hollywood couples the union of actors Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise seemed pictureperfect Their first date Sushi dinner on his plane gtgtu00a0Two months later they were engaged after Cruisersquos grand proposal on top of the Eiffel tower in Paris France She was 26 He was 43 gtgtu00a017 months later on November 18 2006 the couple was married in a Scientology ceremony in Italy She was raised Catholic He is a follower of Scientology mdash a movement founded by scifi writer L Ron Hubbard in the early 1950s gtgtu00a0The date of their official wedding in Los Angeles California is unknown mdash alleged to be anywhere between two weeks to two days prior to the Italian ceremony gtgtu00a0On April 18 2006 Holmes gave birth to their first child a daughter named Suri Post the birth of their daughter the couple reportedly became increasingly reclusive gtgtu00a0Last Friday on June 29 2012 Holmes filed for divorce from Cruise citing ldquoirreconcilable differencesrdquo Holmes is seeking sole custody of their sixyearold daughter Rumour has it that Holmes sought to end the marriage as she was ldquoterrifiedrdquo about her daughter being inducted into the Scientology faith as Suri would soon have to attend school u00a0