Let's talk about sex, baby...

The state government dithered and debated sex education for Classes IX and X ignoring a pair of problems First missing is insight into the emotional side of sex on offer are strictly technical birdsandbees mechanics in boring anatomy lessons Plus itrsquos too late waiting to discuss such a sensitive issue in the last two school years That leaves parents to step in Many mums think the job is done by preparing girls for menstruation Boys may get a book tossed at them by dad with male vs female body parts sketched about as clinically as a frogrsquos lifecycle For the most hormones rage through budding bodies as preadolescents struggle alone to cope with everything from sullen silences to alarming mood swings City psychologists admit being privy to some startling confidences and rampant confusion among youngsters who latch on to answers from smutty sources like loo graffiti porn clips and locker room jokes Wherersquos the chance to ask those questions In our nurturing home space my brother and I werenrsquot laughed at when we innocently posed what now seem quite idiotic questions They ranged from wondering how a mother claimed her star sun was Virgo the Virgin after having kids to wondering if oral sex meant any more than talking about sex Gone thankfully are the days when kids fretted over risking pregnancy from necking or snickered at kissing scenes in films Yet flooded with bolder media exposure 10yearold girls still worry they might die bleeding monthly while boys blurt out nervous queries like ldquoIs it wrong to touch myself down thererdquo Left unaired these doubts trigger acts of aggression For the few introduced to sexuality itrsquos mainly sermons on contraception and stranger danger mdash a halftruth because much child abuse happens at the hands of family members or friends Parents jump in shock when psychiatrist Pervin Dadachanji suggests that curious eightyearolds actually need to be addressed lsquoTheyrsquore too littlersquo is the refrain She explains studies which show that early conversations on sexual health encourage children to wait longer before randomly experimenting with sex So tell it as it is In a solid place called home whose ldquoalert not alarmrdquo mantra lets kids know the world isnrsquot all unsafe and not to be trustedu00a0 Meher Marfatia is the author of 10 books for children and two for parents She has mothered her own kids well past the terrible twos and almost past the troubled teens Touch me not u00a0Forget CCTV protection Your childrsquos best security device is you gtgt Nurture shared confidences in your relationship Paedophiles prey on a remote family environment rarely rocking a closeknit one Urge kids to speak freely ignoring threats from abusers gtgt Rely on your instinct never doubt a child Instead question the motive of adults interested in spending private time with kids Check for hideunderthecovers and ldquoDoctor Doctorrdquo type of games that initiate physical intimacyAdvise kids to pick up on possible advances made by tuition teachers gtgt Boys donrsquot cry is the worst gender expectation Scary encounters including sodomy go neglected as a result Reassure a boy to dismiss taunts of ldquoweakrdquo or ldquonot masculinerdquo if he wants to report ldquobad touchrdquo gtgt ldquoWhen children ask they are ready for answersrdquo says Dr Dadachanji Kids always deserve intelligent explanations Stumped by a sudden question say lsquoLet me think about this and tell yoursquo Then stick to your word