My boyfriend is too tired to spend time with me Dear Diana, <table bordercolor="black" cellpadding="2" align="right" bgcolor="black" border="1"> <tbody> <tr> <td><img alt="" src="/imagedata/2010/oct/diana13.jpg" border="0" /></td></tr> <tr> <td> Illustration/ Satish Acharya</td></tr></tbody></table>A few months ago, this really sweet and handsome guy moved into the flat next to mine. We exchanged pleasantries for the first few weeks. One day he asked me for some help as he was new to the city. I helped him settle in, and he took me out as a thank you gesture. We really hit it off and since then we've been dating. We've been meeting almost every day, which is not so difficult as he lives next door. Everything was going fine till last week. He slowly started saying that he's too tired to go out or even spend time together in our own flats. He is an architect, so he ends up spending 10 hours every day in the heat, supervising construction work. I understand that he's tired, but he used to do this work even in the beginning stages of our relationship and he never complained. So the other day, I asked him if he was going to break up with me. He said he had no such plans and that he just needs some space. But I feels as if we are not dating anymore. Please help! The girl next door Dear friend, First of all, please stop this knee-jerk reaction as I am sure you are making him feel crowded. Maybe he is just too tired, and wants space. As it is, he must have pressures being new to the city etc. How about a little understanding? Have you considered that he may be under a lot of pressure? Also, it appears that he is now more comfortable telling you he has no energy to go out, when earlier he'd do it anyway out of formality. While I agree that one must make time for loved ones, space is important even in relationships, and you must give it to him. It's possible that he may be re-thinking this, or wondering if he rushed into this relationship but pushing him into spending time with you, will only drive him further away. Eventually what has to happen, will happen and you will have to accept it. No point thinking the worst now. If he misses you, he'll come crawling back making more effort than before. Men who get chased all the time get a bit too confident for my liking and they need to be put in their place! You make the best of the space too and see how you feel about him. Meanwhile hang out with friends, and don't keep mulling over this. He says I am fat, but I am not! Dear Diana, I am 26, about 5 feet4 inches tall and I weigh 60 kilos. My husband keeps saying that I am fat. Are there any circumstances under which, or cultures in which this would be considered fat? Do all guys consider this proportion too fat? Lamiya Dear Lamiya, I doubt that anyone would consider you fat.u00a0 I think that you are likely average for your age group. Of course it also has to do with build and muscle tone. This is not really a great thing for your husband to be saying to you unless perhaps you were 80 kilos or more. Tell him you don't like it. Dear Shravan, Well, it is hard to say if this is just a crush or something more. But I can say this: If she has said that she isn't looking for a boyfriend, then it was probably a polite way of saying you are not her type, or that she is not interested. Whether it is a crush, or a real thing, it is natural for you to still think about her, but unless she wants a relationship, you will have to let her go. I know that at this point it can sound like cruel advice,u00a0 but sometimes friends is all you can be with the person you love. If she doesn't feel the same, then there is no hope or point in pursuing this. Dear Diana, There's this girl in my college who's really friendly sweet, and cute. I asked her out last year but she said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend. It's been long time since then, but I still can't stop thinking about her. I thought maybe someday she would feel differently about me but now I am afraid once we are out of college, I will never see her again. Is this just a college crush or something more? What should I do? Shravan Dear Shravan, Well, it is hard to say if this is just a crush or something more. But I can say this: If she has said that she isn't looking for a boyfriend, then it was probably a polite way of saying you are not her type, or that she is not interested. Whether it is a crush, or a real thing, it is natural for you to still think about her, but unless she wants a relationship, you will have to let her go. I know that at this point it can sound like cruel advice,u00a0 but sometimes friends is all you can be with the person you love. If she doesn't feel the same, then there is no hope or point in pursuing this.

Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

My boyfriend is too tired to spend time with me

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My boyfriend is too tired to spend time with me

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