As the monsoon rains pour down relentlessly, they also present an opportunity to cultivate a different kind of magic – monsoon romance. Experts agree the cosy vibes and change of scenery create the perfect backdrop to deepen your connection. Whether you're a couple seeking an adventurous escapade in the rain or a pair who prefers a heartwarming indoor date, relationship gurus will guide you through the monsoon dating scene. They unveil a variety of options, from playful dashes to cosy evenings filled with shared laughter, all guaranteed to spark connection and turn your date into a cherished memory. Put away your umbrellas for a bit, because with our monsoon dating guide, you're all set to embrace the season's unique charm and create cherished memories. Leveraging monsoon for intimate datesMonsoon season, with its pitter-patter of rain and cosy vibes, offers a unique opportunity for couples to create a more intimate atmosphere for their dates. It presents a unique opportunity to reignite the romance for couples. “Forget the gloomy skies, monsoon has its charm. Couples can use this season to plan indoor activities that foster closeness, such as visiting art galleries, or enjoying board games. The sound of rain can enhance the experience, making it more serene and magical. For a more interactive date, cooking class is a fun idea. Monsoon also calls for simple pleasures like sharing a hot cup of masala chai or coffee at a cosy cafe with a window view, reminiscing about childhood memories and creating new ones,” suggests Karima Ben Abdelmalek, chief executive offer and president of happn. Conversation prompts to help you delve deeper We all know there comes a time when we fall into our routines, that conscious conversation falls behind. When we wish to spend quality time with our prospective, or current partners, leaning on conversation prompts can be an effective way to spark deeper connections and create lasting memories. “The happn trend report published in 2024 found icebreakers to be among the top 5 trends seen in India. Monsoon presents us with a great chance to break the monotony of dating and explore new avenues in real life. Visiting a local bookstore or a library and picking out books for each other can be a great way to spark discussions about interests, aspirations, and personal tastes. Alternatively, having a movie marathon with films that are significant to each other can lead to conversations about why those movies are meaningful, revealing more about each other's experiences and values,” poses Abdelmalek. Also read: Disabled aspirant recounts horrors from NET exam centre in Delhi The relationship expert suggests five conversation prompts for singles as well as couples: 1. Are you more of a dancer in the rain or appreciate the rain indoors sipping on chai kind of a person? 2. Rainy days always make me crave something delicious yet soothing. What's your favourite comfort food when it’s pouring outside? 3. What is your go-to rainy day playlist- sappy melancholic masterpieces or road trip bangers? 4. What is your rainy-day ritual? 5. What are some of your favourite memories of monsoons from your childhood? How to personalise monsoon dates to reflect interests and hobbies When you’re starting to see someone, it is essential to find common ground to spark a connection. One effective way to do this is by leveraging the interests and descriptors info tags available on dating apps. Based on Tinder’s Future of Dating Report published in 2023, it’s recommended to incorporate at least four descriptors and three interests to your bio to authentically showcase who you are. “This not only helps you attract like-minded matches but also sets the stage for meaningful connections based on shared interests. Remember, the best dates reflect when you are with someone who matches your quirkiness. So, embrace your unique interests, get creative, stay cosy, and make some monsoon memories that are you,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait, life coach and relationship expert partner with Tinder India. Below, she shares innovative ideas for couples with a wide range of interests: Fashionable duosConsider exploring a scenic indoor space for a creative photoshoot. Grab your phones and some cutesy props, and let the moody weather be your backdrop. Tech enthusiastsHow about a retro gaming marathon? Dust off that old console, stock up on snacks and battle it out in vintage multiplayer games. The loser buys bubble tea! Nature lovers This monsoon, turn your balcony or window sill into a mini herb garden. Plant some seeds together and watch your basil (and relationship) grow over time. FoodiesChallenge yourselves to create a gourmet meal using only what's in your pantry. Post your culinary masterpiece (or disaster) on your socials for some laughs. BookwormsStart your two-person book club. Pick a genre that's new to both of you and discuss homemade chai. Monsoon date ideas for different personalities As the rainy season sets in, it's the perfect time for couples to embrace diverse date ideas that align with their unique personalities. “It's also an opportunity to explore shared interests and experiences with your match, whether you're introverted or extroverted, adventurous, or seeking cosy moments. The rainy season offers a perfect backdrop for couples to explore date ideas that suit their unique personalities,” says Tugnait. She lists a mix of options catering to different personalities: For introverts Matchmaking with friendsIf you’re still in the process of matching with someone and not sure about it, go ahead and use Tinder’s Matchmaker feature and let your friend be your wing person. Your bestie's opinion might lead you to your perfect match. Video chatPlan a video chat to break the ice. Share your favourite books, movies, or hobbies to find common interests and get to know each other in a relaxed setting without any distractions. Puzzle marathonChallenge yourselves with a captivating jigsaw puzzle. As the rain creates a calming rhythm on the window pane, lose yourself in the quiet satisfaction of piecing it together, one satisfying click at a time. For extroverts Board game nightSelect a few engaging board games and spend the evening playing and chatting. This can be a great way to bond and have fun without any weather worries. Karaoke nightBelt out your love with a playful karaoke night featuring monsoon-themed classics! Think "Singing in the Rain" with a twist, or romantic Bollywood ballads perfect for a duet. For cozy couples Baking sessionWhisk up some romance in the kitchen! Whip up a batch of warm and comforting treats like crispy pakoras or decadent hot chocolate, perfect for sharing and creating sweet memories. Movie marathonCuddle up and create a haven filled with fluffy blankets and warm drinks. Dive into a movie marathon of your favourite films, classic rom-coms, or heartwarming monsoon-themed stories.For adventurous couples Urban explorationWear your raincoat and become an urban explorer! Seek out hidden alleyways and charming cafes that unveil the city's unique character during a drizzle. Monsoon photography challengeFor creative couples, compete to capture the most artistic rainy-day shots around your neighbourhood. Also read: Nashik: How Sula Vineyards is educating people about wine for the Indian palate
21 July,2024 09:33 AM IST | Mumbai | Maitrai Agarwal
In April this year, a shocking case was reported from China, a 20-year-old man was identified to have an unusual feeling that later turned out to be a Delusional Love Disorder. The second-year college student was certain that every single one of his female classmates had feelings for him. As the disorder grew, he began to exhibit "inappropriately bold displays of love" for them. But now that his ailment has been treated medically, he is recovering well, as per news reports. The experts suggest that Delusional love disorder, sometimes referred to as erotomania, is a frightening mental health condition in which a person believes that they are profoundly in love with a celebrity or person of higher status even if there is no proof to back up this view. This uncommon illness, which the DSM-5 categorises as a delusional illness, can have disastrous effects on the afflicted person as well as their imagined romantic partner. According to a South China Morning Post (SCMP) report, the man is a native of Jiangsu province in eastern China. His symptoms began to manifest in February and continued to get worse. All of his female students responded negatively to his approaches. But he saw the women's rejections as a sign that they were "too shy to accept his love." Krupa Nishar, Forensic Psychologist told mid-day.com, "Understanding the mental state of someone with Delusional Love Disorder (DLDD) requires examining the interplay of symptoms and signs." She added that the symptoms (Internal Experiences) may include- • Preoccupying delusions: The core symptom is the presence of unshakeable delusions. These are fixed beliefs that are not based on reality. In DLDD, the delusion centers around a perceived romantic relationship with a specific person, often someone the individual doesn't even know well. • Misinterpretations: People with DLDD misinterpret everyday interactions and actions as signs of love or reciprocation. A smile from a celebrity during a concert, a friendly email from a colleague, or even a simple "hello" can be seen as confirmation of their delusion. • Emotional distress: The constant fixation and misinterpretations can lead to significant emotional distress. Feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, and social isolation are common. • Obsessive thoughts: The perceived love interest becomes the center of their thoughts and emotions. They may spend a significant amount of time ruminating about the relationship and their interactions. Krupa added, in some cases, external behaviors may include, fixated attention in which the individuals with DLDD exhibit a relentless focus on their perceived love interest. This can manifest as excessive phone calls, emails, letters, or showing up at their workplace or home unannounced. She said that it may also include inappropriate behavior where the line between romantic gestures and harassment can blur. "Sending expensive gifts, overly personal messages, or public declarations of love are common signs. As the individual becomes fixated on the delusion, their social life may suffer. They may neglect friendships and relationships with family. The work performance and daily activities can be impacted by the all-consuming nature of the delusion. In some cases, if the advances are rejected or ignored, the individual may become angry or even threatening," Krupa said. It is crucial to keep in mind that every individual may uniquely experience DLDD. The indications and symptoms can differ in intensity. But identifying these warning signs can be essential to getting competent assistance before things get worse. The goal of treatment is to deal with the underlying illusions and provide patients with better coping skills. Krupa said, "Understanding the motivations behind these types of crimes is a critical task for forensic psychiatrists."
18 July,2024 12:19 PM IST | Mumbai | Asif RizviWithin the complex terrain of modern relationships, where love, desire and commitment converge, a sanctuary has formed, a space where discretion and desire mingle amid growing options and evolving social standards. The paradigm shift in Indian society can also be witnessed with the increase of +128 percent in the women user base of the dating App Gleeden in 2023 when compared to the same period of last year. To further get into the facts, the app conducted a pan-India survey with 1500+ users from Tier-1 & 2 Indian cities. The dating trends that came out prominently from the survey are briefed below: Closeness and ardourIt was revealed that close proximity has a significant impact on covert operations. Surprisingly, 28 percent of men and 27 percent of women prefer to find a paramour in their community, which increases the convenience of physical closeness. Mumbai (40 percent), Kolkata (35 percent), Kochi (14 percent), Hyderabad (22 percent) and Kolkata (35 percent) became the centres of activity for 25- to 35-year-olds in terms of local connections. Taking off without limitsClose-by towns or cities were the backdrop for covert meetings for those who were uncomfortable with local entanglements. The statistics showed that, in order to build relationships without having to worry about travel, 21 percent of men and 15% percent of women look for companions outside of their city. In terms of this trend, Bangalore (19 percent, Delhi (25 percent), and Kolkata (18 percent) stood out. Disappearing in the city bustleGleeden's survey revealed a preference for conducting business in large, anonymous metropolises. Delhi (10 percent), Bangalore (16 percent) and Kolkata (12 percent) emerged as the top discretionary locations, with only 11 pct of male users engaging in this activity. Digital dalliancesIn the era of digital technology, prudence is key. 17 percent of men and 15 percent of women prefer internet liaisons, which can be used as a cover for adultery. The cities of Bangalore (15 percent), Mumbai (12 percent), and Kolkata (26 percent) all demonstrated a preference for online flirtations. Different goalsGleeden shows up as a haven for a variety of needs, including making new friends, looking for company and developing existing ones. Unwaveringly, 34 percent of men and 42 percent of women swear allegiance to loyalty, with 51 percent in Bangalore, 27 percent in Mumbai, and 53 percent in Hyderabad pledging allegiance. This story has been sourced from a third party syndicated feed, agencies. Mid-day accepts no responsibility or liability for its dependability, trustworthiness, reliability and data of the text. Mid-day management/mid-day.com reserves the sole right to alter, delete or remove (without notice) the content in its absolute discretion for any reason whatsoever
12 July,2024 07:16 PM IST | Mumbai | IANS
Pratkisha Shah (34) is caught up in a bedchamber quandary. In a discrete conversation with Midday, she reveals: “My husband’s idea of how a woman finishes is skewed. It sprouts from watching adult films which are anything but misleading; as that’s not how it unfolds in reality.” Shah is not completely wrong in her claims. Navigating intimacy in a relationship can sometimes be challenging, especially when it comes to aligning expectations with real experiences. While her husband's misplaced notions about female pleasure are impacting their intimacy, there are deeper complexities than what meets the eye. Leeza Mangaldas, sexuality educator and author of The Sex Book states, "Whether it's teachers or families, the discussion around female pleasure is missing or is aimed at discouraging women from striving for it. More so the society attaches shame and judgment to it and rarely highlights the enjoyable aspects of the experience." Do the ladies and their partners relate to this? If yes, fret not as female sexuality is a subject that is widely misunderstood. To clear the air around this, Midday.com spoke to sex experts who break down how female arousal, desire, autonomy pleasure and orgasm work. Additionally, they share tools for men to break myths attached to female pleasure for better intimacy. Common misconceptions around women’s pleasure Despite Shah’s genuine appreciation for the intimacy they share, there are moments of discomfort such as during non-penetrative stimulation, which she found similar to undergoing a pap smear test. “While I do love our physical connection, I've never experienced orgasm during our encounters. Additionally, my attempts to initiate intimacy have been met with discouragement, as he thinks that his efforts are futile since I don't climax,” mumbles Shah. Men may abandon their efforts to satisfy their female partners for various reasons. It could stem from a lack of understanding about their partner's desires. Performance anxiety or a fear of not meeting expectations might also play a role. Additionally, societal pressures and unrealistic expectations around masculinity can create stress, hindering the ability to focus on mutual pleasure. Sexologist and relationship expert – Dr Pavana S from Vidyaranyapura, Bengaluru breaks common misconceptions about women’s pleasure: All women orgasm the same wayData suggests that preferences, desires and what brings pleasure can vary significantly from one woman to the next. However, many men mistakenly assume that all women derive pleasure in the same manner and thus do little to change their approach. This misconception often leads to mundane routines with unmet expectations and misunderstandings, ultimately leading to dissatisfaction. Her lubrication is equivalent to male arousalThe misconception that vaginal lubrication is analogous to an erection creates a misleading belief that if women are sexually aroused, their vagina will lubricate. However, this stands incorrect. The occurrence of lubrication is subject to a phenomenon known as non-concordance, where arousal and physical responses may not align. It's crucial to dispel this myth. Critically, some men may dismissively assert that their female partners don't understand their own bodies, citing dryness despite reported arousal. It is essential to prioritise a woman's subjective experience and communicate openly in order to develop a better understanding of her arousal. Women should orgasm from penetrationThe idea that women should consistently achieve orgasm through penetration alone is another common misconception. In reality, over 70 per cent of women do not reliably orgasm through penetrative sex, and this is entirely healthy and normal. The clitoris, comparable to the penis in males, is a highly sensitive organ that becomes engorged with blood during sexual arousal. It extends internally into the vagina. For most women, achieving orgasm typically involves some degree of clitoral stimulation. Understanding and acknowledging the need for varied forms of stimulation can contribute to a more inclusive perspective on women's sexual experiences. Women can achieve pleasure quicklyInstant gratification can contribute to a missing focus on female pleasure. The belief that female pleasure can be quickly or easily attained is a common fallacy that overlooks the nuanced and individualised aspects of women's sexual experiences. In reality, achieving female pleasure often demands time, open communication and a profound understanding of individual needs. The emphasis on quick satisfaction may lead to a neglect of the diverse ways in which women experience pleasure, hindering the potential for a more fulfilling and mutually satisfying experience. Orgasm-centric focusThe obsession with achieving orgasm as the sole benchmark of female pleasure perpetuates a narrow perspective that can lead to a dissatisfying sexual experience. This misconception overlooks the multifaceted nature of women's sexual pleasure, implying that fulfillment is solely contingent on climax. In reality, women derive satisfaction from diverse aspects of intimacy, including emotional connection, communication and various forms of stimulation. An orgasm-centric focus may create performance pressure, anxiety and feelings of inadequacy for both partners, overshadowing the broader spectrum of enjoyable and meaningful elements within a sexual encounter. Women fake their orgasms sometimes, here’s why A common observation in expert's practice is how little awareness women have about their own pelvic anatomy and erogenous zones. This often leads to a gap in expectations as women are unable to articulate their desires because of which, men might fail to navigate the intimate conundrum. Kritika Khatri (24) shares why she resorts to faking orgasms. “The thing is, I hate to make people feel bad. Like they're doing something wrong when likely it's an issue with me. So, I've just faked my orgasms every single time I have ever been with someone.” Mumbai-based relationship coach, Anjali Tyagi informs, that one common motivation to fake orgasms is the desire to spare their partner's feelings. Women may worry about their partner feeling inadequate or responsible for their inability to climax, even if the issue is not related to their partner's performance. The overbearing expectation that sexual encounters should culminate in orgasm can also contribute to this phenomenon, leading women to simulate pleasure to align with perceived norms. Additionally, some women may fake orgasms due to a lack of understanding about their own desires or discomfort in expressing their needs, choosing to prioritise their partner's feelings over their own satisfaction. Communication barriers around sexual topics, fear of judgment and societal pressures to conform to unrealistic expectations contribute to the prevalence of faking orgasms. The reluctance to openly discuss preferences and address concerns can also lead to a cycle of dissatisfaction. Tyagi opines that women need to be empowered by educating them about ‘what’s what’ down there. Although biology books and Google images of a vulva may help despite that, many women find this hard to relate to and can’t identify all of the parts of the vulva on themselves. Tools for men to navigate female pleasure Prioritise communication and active listeningOpen and honest communication is the cornerstone of any satisfying intimate relationship. Experts opine that imitating conversations about desires, fantasies and boundaries can help bridge the gap. Encourage your partner to share her thoughts by asking about her preferences and understanding her needs. Also, pay attention not only to what she says but also to non-verbal cues during intimate moments. Understand the complexity of female anatomyTake the time to educate yourself about the intricacies of female anatomy. Recognise that pleasure is not limited to one specific area; it involves a combination of physical and emotional factors. Understand the role of the clitoris and play various tempos to land on the one that sits well with her. Pay attention to her responses and how she reacts to different styles of touches. Extend the foreplayIt cannot be stressed enough that foreplay is a crucial component of female pleasure. Rather than rushing towards the showdown, prioritise extended periods of foreplay. This can be done by engaging in a variety of sensual activities to build anticipation and enhance arousal. This not only heightens physical pleasure but also strengthens the emotional connection. Shift the focus from orgasm to overall pleasureMove away from an orgasm-centric mindset. While orgasms can be enjoyable, emphasising overall pleasure and connection can lead to a more satisfying experience for both partners. Understand that women's satisfaction extends beyond achieving climax and encompasses the entire intimate journey. Be attentive to emotional connectionRecognise the importance of emotional connection in fostering female pleasure. A strong emotional bond contributes to a sense of security and comfort, creating an environment where both partners can freely express themselves. Prioritise emotional intimacy alongside physical connection for a more fulfilling experience. Resources on sex education Books:"Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski"She Comes First" by Ian Kerner"5 Love Language" by Gary Chapman Online Platforms: Scarleteen, OMGYes and BetterHelp for relationship counselling. (Shared by Dr Pavana S)
12 July,2024 07:02 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentThe debate around physical appearance playing a pivotal role in dating and relationships has gained momentum in recent times, especially with the rise of online dating. Do Indian daters place emphasis on looks while picking a partner? According to a recent study done by the Indian dating app QuackQuack, 33 per cent Indian daters have disclosed that physical appearance indeed plays a crucial part in their dating experience. The founder and CEO of the app, Ravi Mittal, commented, "We know how much appearance matters in the dating world. There is no denying that. But the aim is always to strike a healthy balance between looks and other more important traits that should factor in while finding a match; for instance, we constantly urge our users to also look into compatibility, personality, shared goals, values, and more if they want to find a relationship that goes beyond the surface level." The study was conducted targeting Tier 1, 2, and 3 app users. A total of 9000 people between the ages of 20 and 45 participated and were asked to answer questions on online dating preferences, while providing justification for the same. The results reflected the significance of physical appearance over every other preference. Here are some key findings of the study: First Impressions 37 per cent daters between 18 and 30 say physical appearance is everything when it comes to first impressions. 26-year-old Vaishali said, "How would you know if a person will be truly compatible with you before interacting with them? In such moments the display image showing their physical appearance is one of the determining factors, apart from a small bio." Other responses were on the same line, mentioning that especially in online dating, the visual appeal often forms the basis of first impressions. An important point to note is that this phenomenon is particularly pronounced among the younger age group than the older. Self-Worth More than 24 per cent of Tier 1, 2, and 3 daters disclosed that interacting with physically attractive matches helps make them feel more confident and improves their image of self-worth. Anurag, a software engineer from Delhi, said, "Whether it is right or wrong is up for debate, but for most people, it holds true. Securing a match with a good-looking individual, especially someone who is out of our league, feels like a bigger win compared to matching with someone who is at par with us." Users also commented that a strong visual attraction also works as a catalyst for initiating conversation and putting in more effort to connect, at least in the initial phase. Also Read: An expert’s guide to dating for introverts Cultural Influence 3 out of 5 women over 30 noted that cultural expectations influence people's preference for a physically attractive partner. Most people grow up noticing a significant emphasis being placed on physical appearance and that reflects in their dating preference. Not only do daters put more effort into looking good over exhibiting their achievements online, but the heavy cultural influence also pushes them to choose an attractive person over a talented one. Success Rate "While physical appearance is not everything, the more attracted you are to your match, the better your chances at a successful relationship," justified Ajeet from Guwahati. Moreover, 29 per cent daters also mentioned that finding someone attractive is subjective. "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Tall, dark, and handsome might be my preference, but someone else might prefer other physical traits over these," said Sadhna Singh, 22. Physical appearance matters, but it does not always come with an unrealistic beauty standard. Nevertheless, 7 out of 10 respondents answered the same- the success rate of a match increases if there is strong physical attraction.
03 July,2024 12:37 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentRecently, datingadvice, an online dating guide, conducted a nationwide survey revealing concerning trends among Gen Z daters. The survey's findings reveal that cheating is becoming increasingly common, with a staggering 93 percent of Gen Z participants admitting to involvement in cheating relationships, compared to 80 percent of millennials. The overall rate of infidelity stands at 83 percent. Experts owe this rise to digital connections which have made cheating easier and more prevalent. With the advent of social media, dating apps and instant messaging, opportunities for infidelity have multiplied. These digital platforms provide a veil of anonymity and a sense of detachment, making it simpler for individuals to engage in extramarital affairs without immediate consequences. The ease of access to potential partners and the ability to maintain secret communications have contributed significantly to the surge in cheating behaviours. Other findings of the survey:Gen Z has become adept at concealing their digital tracks, leveraging advanced technology and greater familiarity with digital platforms to their advantage. They use features like disappearing messages, encrypted chat apps and private browsing modes to maintain secrecy. Additionally, they are more knowledgeable about how to delete or hide messages, use multiple accounts and employ apps designed to mask or hide communications. This technological savviness significantly reduces the likelihood of being caught, as evidenced by the contrast in discovery rates: 40.2 percent of millennials are caught via text, compared to only 22.94 percent of Gen Z. Also read: From simmer dating to blank canvassing, GenZ rebrands dating with new trends Interestingly, the survey revealed that 34.12 percent of millennials and 21.83 percent of Gen Z admitted to cheating when confronted by their partners about suspected infidelity, either due to being poor liars or unexpectedly honest. This admission highlights a notable difference in how each generation handles confrontation and truthfulness. Millennials, perhaps less adept at concealing their actions or more prone to guilt, are more likely to confess when directly questioned. In contrast, Gen Z, while better at hiding digital tracks, still has a significant portion who choose honesty or fail to convincingly lie when faced with direct accusations. These dynamics underscore the complex interplay between digital adeptness and personal integrity across generations. While booking a five-star hotel can be associated with cheating, there are numerous other legitimate reasons a man might do so, such as business trips, special celebrations or simply a desire for luxury and relaxation. However, the statistics indicate a significant trend in infidelity detection: 16.27 percent of men have been caught through suspicious credit card statements, compared to only 8.84 percent of women. This disparity suggests that men might be more likely to make extravagant purchases that raise red flags, whether for clandestine encounters or other reasons. The higher detection rate among men could also reflect their tendency to leave more traceable financial evidence, making it easier for partners to uncover infidelity through financial scrutiny. Imagine the irony of discovering your partner's presence on a dating app while you yourself are actively engaged in infidelity. That's the surprising reality for 18.83 percent of women and 15.57 percent of men who found themselves matched with their partners while both were engaging in cheating behaviour. Lastly, the survey found that physical evidence is one of the most common reasons that Gen-Z cheaters get caught, with 19.82 percent of those surveyed admitting that it’s a found item (such as perfume receipts, flowers, or a condom) that traps them. Also read: Zeenat Aman sparks heated debate on live-in relationships: What you need to know
02 July,2024 03:46 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentWhile this era of virtual dating is all about instant gratification, generation Z is carving out its own unique path focusing on mindfulness and depth over superficiality and speed. Dating app, QuackQuack's, latest study on GenZ dating patterns and tendencies shows that this new generation of daters are rebranding dating with innovative trends. The app's online poll in the last week of May 2024 was attended by more than 11,000 daters between the ages of 18 and 26. The majority of the participants were students, IT professionals, and engineers, along with a mix of healthcare and finance professionals, content creators, teachers and sales and marketing experts. The app's Founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, commented, "GenZ has been making waves in the dating world for quite some time now. We have a large portion of GenZ users and almost regularly we observe them dating quite differently from their predecessors. For instance, GenZ is not afraid to pick themselves, they are more thorough and slow, and they are very much focused on mental health; they would drop a relationship any day if that happens to affect their mental health. These trends might look drastic but they are equally important for a healthy dating life." Simmer dating 47 per cent of GenZ daters from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities disclosed that they prefer taking a slow-paced approach, calling it "simmer dating," instead of the previously famous rapid-fire matching and quick meetups. This trend focuses on gradual buildup and emphasizes patience while finding a partner. The responses of these participants give a clear picture of the shift toward meaningful connections over instant chemistry that tends to fizzle out as fast as it grows. 4 out of 5 people also mentioned that relationships that grow organically over time are more lasting and fulfilling. Blank canvassing GenZ is all about mental health and with it taking center stage this year, there is another notable trend, Blank Canvassing, making considerable noise in the dating world. In this trend, daters take their time to reflect on their past relationships, assess how that has affected their mental health, and take the time to ensure that they are truly ready for a relationship or doing so under peer pressure or because of the fear of missing out. 35 percent of women between 20 and 25 said that this approach focuses on emotional well-being over rushing to find love. This also helps build a more stable relationship between two people who have let go of past baggage and are starting over with a blank canvas. This generation of daters is setting a new standard of readiness for giving and receiving love. Digital courtship GenZ is actively bringing back the traditional courtship period to the modern dating world. 29% of daters between 18 and 26 are all in favor of digital courtship; they said that instead of jumping straight to chatting regularly or planning a meetup, they allow their matches to court and impress them. This is more specific to daters who are particularly looking for a serious and exclusive relationship and one unique factor of this trend is that a dater only courts one match at a time. There is an air of honesty and genuineness to this trend. Moreover, female participants said that it gives a more personal touch to virtual dating and enriches the experience. Alia Bhatt: I avoid giving parenting advice as everyone’s journey is different
21 June,2024 04:50 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
A diva, charmer of the hearts and one of Bollywood’s veterans, actress Zeenat Aman has been making news forever, be it for her sensual performances or her woke opinions. The actress has especially been in the spotlight since her Instagram debut. Recently, her unabashedly honest attitude once again stirred up conversations online when the actress spoke in support of live-in relationships. Her relationship advice also received flak from her counterparts in the industry who believe that the concept of live-in relationships - a concept of the Western culture, goes against Indian customs and values. This is not the first time that the topic of live-in relationships has attracted such extreme reactions, despite it being legal in India. Mid-day.com spoke to legal and relationship experts who list down a guide for couples considering living together. Ruchi Ruuh (@therapywithruchi), a relationship counsellor and therapist tells us that a large part of India remains resistant to live-in relationships due to traditional values and cultural beliefs. “Many view live-in relationships as a direct challenge to Indian customs and values. We traditionally emphasise marriage as the only acceptable way to live together. Love marriage too, is still a taboo and parents prefer arranging a match for their children. Lots of parents and even couples fear the judgement and criticism that might come from society. We also still have a narrow view of premarital sex and exploration.” Yet, Ruuh highlights, “The Indian society is gradually becoming more open to the concept of live-in relationships, particularly in urban areas. It's happening due to more open conversations within society and family about the changing relationship needs. Exposure to global cultures is also helping Indian society evolve its values. Moreover, Indian courts and laws have also recognised live-in relationships, providing some legal protection.” Legality of live-in relationships in India “Live-in relationships are thought of as another curse of the West on our cultural and religious beliefs, however, that being said, it is not illegal in India if two consenting adults decide to cohabit,” says Bhaavya Roy, managing partner and founder, Kranti Law Offices. However, such partnerships and relationships aren’t common and socially accepted yet, and hence, do not have well-defined and specific laws, which leaves crucial aspects of the union up for interpretation, particularly when it comes to property rights, financial obligations, and the status of kids born out of these kinds of partnerships. As a result, couples go through social stigma and other challenges. “This is not to say that the Indian Supreme Court hasn’t recognised the legal status of cohabitation. It has also highlighted the need to safeguard the rights of those who live together,” says Shreya Sharma, founder, Rest The Case. Sharma tells Mid-day.com about some significant legal rulings and factors about cohabitation in India. These involve: The Domestic Violence Act of 2005 This act protects women who are in marriage and even those who are in live-in relationships. The Supreme Court had stated that women in live-in relationships who might experience abuse of any sort, including physical, verbal, emotional, or financial, have all the rights to claim protection under this Act. Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 Regardless of whether a woman is in a live-in relationship or is legally married to the male of the home, this Act recognises a woman's right to reside in a shared household. Live-in relationships are included in the definition of a "relationship like marriage" in this clause. It gives women in these kinds of partnerships access to the Act's protections. “Through several rulings and judgments, the Indian Supreme Court has upheld that live-in relationships are legal and should be granted the status of a couple. Such rulings provide legal protection to couples,” says Sharma. Additionally, Roys adds, “After a decade-long tussle between the morality and legality of live-in relationships, the Supreme Court also decided to strengthen the legitimacy of the same by stating that children have a right to property as per a co-parenting agreement and/or to the self-acquired property of the parents.” Exploring the benefits of live-in relationships for couples Nikita Girdhar (@off.yourshoulders), therapist and relationship expert, Off Your Shoulders Psychotherapy, opines, “When we talk about the transitioning from singlehood to partnership, our identity and our mindset needs to make a shift from “ME” to “WE”. I truly think that especially in the Indian context, where families get so involved and attached post-marriage, couples need to form a strong WE identity before families are involved. This helps both partners support each other and have each other’s backs when families pose obstacles. I believe a live-in relationship may solidify the “WE” identity.” She says, “Live-in relationships help partners practise togetherness living under the same roof daily. Partners can explore how they manage chores together, financial habits, fluctuating sex drives, ways to deal with conflicts and other behavioural aspects.” Also Read: Navigate love, dating and communication trends Before entering into a live-in relationship, Ruuh suggests considering the following factors: 1. Please ensure that both partners enthusiastically consent to living together. Let no one feel pressured to get into a situation they don't want to. 2. Maintain open and honest communication about expectations, boundaries and plans like marriage. 3. Discuss how expenses will be shared and managed by the couple. Try keeping a track of the expenses so that no one feels cheated in the end. 4. Respect each other's need for personal space. Living together doesn't mean that you cannot have a life of your own. It is important that your’s and your partner's space is well respected. 5. Discuss long-term goals such as marriage, career aspirations and family planning beforehand. 6. Understand the legal implications and your rights with live-in relationships before you start living together. Commenting on conveying one’s decision to enter a live-in relationship to parents, Girdhar states, that for some couples, sometimes, no persuasion/communication stands to change their parents’ mind because they fear of what a live-in relationship will mean for your well-being and your reputation in the society. “However, if there is any scope for convincing, take the adult route. An adult doesn’t throw a fit, beg/plead or threaten. An adult is gentle, assertive, honest, clear and concise about how they feel. It’s important for you to first understand why this live-in relationship is important in your journey towards marriage. Show confidence in this path - not that it will surely go as planned but that if things go badly, you will be able to cope with the consequences. Besides, if living with your partner is more important than maintaining a relationship with your parents (this is fully possible and understandable, just think it thoroughly through) then remember that you are an adult and that you don’t technically need anyone’s permission.” Legal challenges couples in live-in relationships face In India, there is still a hue and cry about inter-faith marriages, inter-caste and inter-religious marriages. Therefore social stigma engulfing live-in relationships too, is massive and often becomes a source of agony for families of the individuals, following which the moral policing by the society makes this lifestyle choice a constant struggle. Roy states, “There are abundant legal challenges faced by persons in live-in relationships. The nature, duration and sexual intimacy are factors which are taken into account while extending the limited legal protection, which in more ways than one is invasive of the personal liberty and privacy of the parties involved. Further, there is no relief or benefits in taxation, social security, property and housing.” She adds, “Since the live-in union is considered a valid marriage only in certain circumstances, it still does not come within the ambit of the Hindu Marriage Act, hence there is no bar on the parties to enter into an agreement with regard to their finances, inheritance, property, social welfare benefits etc.” Further, as stated by Sharma, the lack of legality and clarity in Indian laws causes the society to discriminate against individuals who are in live-in relationships. Women in live-in relationships, especially, may be more vulnerable when there are no legal protections, particularly in situations where there may be disagreements or abandonment and no appropriate legal redress.” To prevent legal complications, Roy suggests couples willing to enter into a live-in relationship to be of legal age. This can help avoid the relationship being a criminal offence. Housing challengesSharing her own experience, Roy states, “The progress in our nation is at snail speed, in cities like Mumbai and Delhi, it’s a hassle for even single women to get housing, let alone live-in couples. Most Resident Welfare Associations have hanging boards that read ‘Tenants and Bachelors not allowed’. While I was a single lady lawyer living in Delhi, I had to provide a letter from my employer that I was employed with them. Subsequently, my partner and I had the lease signed in both our names and individually provided the security deposit.” Despite the challenges, Sharma says that there are several ways couples can safeguard their rights and ensure fair treatment. 1. Legal agreements and documentation Rental agreement:Joint tenancy: Ensure both partners' names are on the rental agreement. This formaliSes the tenancy and provides legal protection to both parties. Lease clauses: Include specific clauses that outline the rights and responsibilities of both tenants, covering aspects like rent payment, maintenance, and notice periods. 2. Legal frameworks and fights Right to Reside: Section 2(f) of the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA) includes live-in relationships under "relationships in the nature of marriage," granting women the right to reside in a shared household. Protection from eviction: Women in live-in relationships can seek protection against wrongful eviction and harassment under this Act. Tips to go about entering a live-in relationship “The Uttarakhand Assembly on February 7 passed the UCC (Uniform Civil Code) bill, which may serve as a template for other BJP-run states to enact similar legislation. UCC calls for the registration of live-in relationships just like marriages and states that live-in partners must not be under 18. However, this process is yet to come into effect, and training and other aspects of the registrations are awaited and limited to the state of Uttarakhand as of now,” informs Sharma. Here are some of the things couples can do for mutual understanding: 1. Open communication: Discuss your decision to live together openly and honestly with each other, and if possible, with your families to manage expectations and potential backlash. 2. Legal documentation: Although not mandatory, drafting a cohabitation agreement can help outline financial arrangements, property rights, and responsibilities, providing a level of legal clarity. 3. Financial planning: Open a joint bank account for shared expenses and keep clear records of contributions to avoid future disputes. 4. Healthcare and emergency contacts: Ensure both partners are listed as emergency contacts and consider setting up a medical directive or power of attorney. 5. Living arrangements: Choose a residence that is mutually convenient and secure, considering factors such as proximity to work, safety and social acceptance. 6. Support networks: Build a support network of friends and allies who are understanding and supportive of your living arrangement. Also Read: Anant Ambani-Radhika Merchant's pre-wedding cruise
13 June,2024 09:17 AM IST | Mumbai | Aakanksha AhireAs per Bumble’s recent survey, 71.5 per cent of single Indians (71 per cent GenZ, 72 per cent Millennials) enjoy movie post-mortems, reviewing movies together. As Hum Tum, a classic Bollywood Romcom recently celebrated 20 years, Ruchi Ruuh, relationship expert, at Bumble India dives into how relatable the movie still is. The 2004 Bollywood film "Hum Tum'' is known for its exploration of romance in a modern context. Interestingly, the film aligns closely with Indian Gen Z's approach to dating and relationships today. Below are the five ways Gen Z daters can relate to the film's timeless narrative: Rejects the idea of one true loveIn Hum Tum, the protagonists Rhea and Karan challenge the concept of a destined soulmate or one true love. Instead, they understand that meaningful relationships can emerge from mutual respect, compatibility, and shared experiences. In fact, 71 per cent of Indians (69 per cent Gen Z, 74 per cent millennials) only choose to date someone today, with shared interests and/or hobbies. This mindset aligns with how dating apps like Bumble encourage users to form genuine connections with multiple people before finding the right fit. Also Read: Jab ‘they’ met: What to do when you run into your ex? Believes true love grows over timeIn the film, Rhea and Karan's relationship is a slow burn, evolving over many years and stages of life. This mirrors the Gen Z dating ethos, which values the growth and deepening of relationships over time. Bumble’s recent dating trend of Everyday Dates also shares that 33 per cent of Indians prefer mundane dates over elaborate ones as it helps them build deeper, genuine connections over grand gestures. Acceptance of character's quirks instead of seeking 'Perfection'Karan and Rhea's relationship flourishes as they learn to embrace each other's unique personalities and imperfections. This aligns with Gen Z's emphasis on authenticity in dating, rather than striving for an unrealistic ideal of perfection. 38 per cent Gen Z surveyed by Bumble also stated they embrace authenticity over perfection. Also Read: Zeenat Aman sparks heated debate on live-in relationships: What you need to know Both characters follow their own path of self-developmentA key aspect of Hum Tum is how both Rhea and Karan pursue their own personal growth and self-discovery before eventually coming together. 71 per cent of single Gen Z share this sentiment, valuing self-development and individual fulfilment as crucial elements to seek a healthy relationship. Rhea's character embodies freedom and autonomyRhea's character is a representation of independence and autonomy, breaking away from societal expectations. She challenges traditional gender norms and chooses to live life on her own terms. A majority of the women surveyed (86 per cent) in particular (85 per cent of GenZ and 87 per cent of Millennial women) are choosing to take active steps to be happier with who they are here and now, putting the fun back into dating, in a trend Bumble is calling ‘betterment burnout’. Hum Tum provides timeless lessons about love and relationships that resonate with Gen Z's modern dating values. Through the film young daters can find a reflection of their own approach to romance—one that values personal growth, authenticity, and mutual respect.Also Read: 'I thought I was the problem,' Why some people find it difficult to end a toxic relationship
05 June,2024 06:36 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentJust ahead of pride month, Tinder has released its first queer dating starter pack in India. Developed with Gaysi Family, a queer-owned, queer-run media platform, this visual checklist is aimed at assisting young first-time queer daters on Tinder, offering essential guidance on self-discovery, dating etiquette, consent, safety and self-care. Building on the LetsTalkGender.in guide and glossary launched by Tinder in 2022, the new checklist is integrated into this resource to be a trusted companion, providing quick check-ins as they navigate their dating firsts. Tinder has also announced the return of Queer Made Weekend, one of India’s most popular pride festivals, dedicated to celebrating, supporting, and amplifying businesses and products made, owned, and run by India’s LGBTQIA+ community. Tinder Queer Made Weekend will be held on June 8, 2024 at Jio World Drive in Mumbai and DLF Promenade in Delhi on June 15 and 16, 2024. Dating apps are becoming a space where young adults comfortably explore and express their gender and sexuality, with 7 out of 10 young daters in India agreeing that dating apps offer more freedom for self-exploration and have helped dismantle stereotypes and expectations surrounding gender, sex and relationships. Given the growing comfort in using dating apps for self-discovery, this checklist gives first-time queer daters a crucial edge in navigating various dating scenarios with confidence and clarity. To support queer newbies to be the most authentic selves on their dating journeys, the dating starter pack, curated with insights from The QKnit, offers practical advice based on real-life experiences of the queer community. The FAQ section addresses common concerns and uncertainties that may arise during the dating process, such as readiness to date, exploring one’s identity, and understanding boundaries. In June 2024, Tinder users in India will see the Swipe Cards directing them to detailed checklists on LetsTalkGender.in. Tejaswi Subramanian, digital content editor, Gaysi Family shared, “We are now addressing a significant need for young queer daters who are navigating their dating lives for the first time. Many existing resources offering dating advice are often neither thoughtful nor inclusive. Our checklists fill that gap by encouraging young queer daters in India to engage thoughtfully with their connections while staying true to themselves. This effort complements the resources that we have co-created over the years. Here's to creating a safe and enjoyable dating culture for young queer individuals! ” “Tinder has always supported the freedom of its users to explore their individuality both on the app and in real life with features like More Genders, Sexual Orientation, Traveler Alert, among others. We’re so honored to play a role in the dating journey of Tinder’s queer users, from coming out to finding a community, and are committed to creating more inclusive ways to help them make authentic connections we know today’s daters value the most. The Queer Dating Starter Pack underscores this commitment by providing essential support to our users, especially first-time queer daters navigating their dating firsts on Tinder," shared Aahana Dhar, Communications Director for Tinder in India. Also Read: Gleeden explores top three dating trends emerging in married couples
30 May,2024 12:12 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentA noteworthy phenomenon has surfaced in the maze of contemporary relationships, where love, intimacy, and social standards converge: the exploration of desire within the bounds of commitment. With 2.8 million users in India, Gleeden, an extra-marital dating app has observed some of the most common dating practices rising among married couples in its new Gleeden pan-India poll, which provides insightful information about the complexity of contemporary love and desire. The study revealed three major themes: 1. Proximity for intimacyIn secret relationships, proximity is crucial; a significant percentage of users would rather locate partners in their local areas. According to the survey, 28 per cent of men and 27 per cent of women look for companions in their communities who can provide accessible opportunities for physical proximity. Cities such as Hyderabad, Kolkata, Mumbai, and Kochi became hubs for local relationships, especially for people in the 25–35 age range. 2. Exploring connections outside local boundariesFor individuals uneasy about the potential for local entanglements, nearby towns or cities offer a covert setting for covert gatherings. About 21 per cent of men and 25 per cent of women choose a company outside of their city limits so they can develop relationships without having to deal with the hassle of travelling. The trend was found to be most prominent in Bangalore, Delhi, and Kolkata, emphasising the appeal of anonymity outside of one's comfort zone. 3. Privacy from the public eye keyEspecially in busy cities where privacy is paramount, a large portion of users have private conversations away from prying eyes. Top cities for these kinds of activities were found to be Delhi, Bangalore, and Kolkata, with 11 per cent of male users preferring the anonymity that comes with being in an urban setting. “Apart from these in-person meetings, the internet has developed into a haven for covert relationships, with a significant portion of users favouring virtual exchanges as a disguise for adultery. Cities with a higher propensity for online flirting are Bangalore, Mumbai, and Kolkata, which highlights the relationship between technology and intimacy in contemporary relationships,” says Gleeden's Country Manager in India, Sybil Shiddell.
29 May,2024 05:04 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentADVERTISEMENT
