New relationship survey reveals why more Millennial divorced Indians are choosing to wait to fall in love again

For people who have learnt to rebuild their lives after their marriage ended finding a promising match is not the ultimate goal of their journey to a second chanceThe bigger more important question previously married singles ask is whether they are ready to let someone into their life the life they have finally learnt to manage aloneA study by Indian matchmaking app Rebounce shows a unique contradiction playing out among the Millennial divorced singles Most of them are seeking a second chance in love and marriage yet when the opportunity begins to present itself their initial instinct is to wait However 46 per cent of these singles explained that this wait makes all the difference in how their lives will pan out this timeThe survey was conducted among 10000 divorced singles from Tier 1 2 and 3 cities Participants ranged in age group between 30 and 40 years and belonged to different professional fields for a better understanding of their mindset For most users Its not time yet meant wisdom they dont want to make a decision that is overly consequential based on whim and new person butterfliesThe apps founder and CEO Ravi Mittal commented While others can mistake this tendency to wait as simple emotional unreadiness people dealing with the situation know its much more than just that Its not easy to let go of hardearned independence for someone and fall into a similar pattern of compromise The wait truly helps assess if a match is really worth the riskSurvived one ending dont want anotherA divorce is not the end the aftermath follows for a long time said over 33 per cent of previously married singles between 35 and 40 years of age When you eventually reach the point where things are getting normal again in your life letting someone else in even if you are attracted to them gets difficult commented Mohan 38 from Delhi 39 of women revealed their first thought after meeting a potential match is Do I want to risk losing myself for this person The thought usually stems from their lived experience These people know the cost of a broken relationship they fear that a relationship that opens with optimism can easily fall into an uncharted territory of compromise For over 3984 participants this is one of the major reasons for the its not time yet mindsetI have moved on but has my familyIt might be the perfect time for me but its not time yet for my family to be introduced to a new person Deepti a single mother of two teenagers This stands especially true for divorced singles with children in the equation Children and in some cases old parents need more time to adjust Nearly 21 per cent of women and 19 per cent of men disclosed delaying matches to allow their family ample time to understand their choice for a second chance Ahaan 34 said While we say remarriage is my choice we Indians are usually very closely knit with our families Im not saying their decision should be ours but we usually try to give them the scope to understand where our choice to try again is coming fromNot settling but the definition of settling is the real issueOver 4500 divorced singles from metros and suburbs alike explained that settling to an extent for someone they love is not the issue the real problem is the definition of settling and whether two people in a relationship are on the same page about it The survey found that 7 in 10 respondents shared that their standards have changed and become more intentional after a disappointing marriage and so have their ideas around compromise While some things will always need a couple to meet midway there are other matters which they will never compromise on the way they did in their first marriage Nisha 34 said Some living arrangement lifestyle choices get merged according to both partners convenience but when the same choices start becoming lopsided to make things more comfortable for one partner its a big no for me this time I have done it once out of love and Id recommend no one do it no matter how much you love them