Out of sight, not out of mind for these couples in long-distance love

Were convinced that romance begins in icy waters both metaphorically and literally This we know because a study conducted by psychologists at the University of Arizona last month drew a conclusion that many will find startlingThe experiment featured in the journal of Psychophysiology had 102 participants all committed in romantic relationships submerge one foot into three inches of icy water Some had their partners physically present some were instructed to think of their partners supporting them through the task while others were told to think about their dayThe result revealed that participants belonging to the first two categories had a lower blood pressure response compared to the third category thus concluding that the mental image of a person can be just as powerful as their physical presence So does distance really make the heart grow fonder Couples in a longdistance relationship say its complicatedKahini and KeshavA difficult choiceKeshav Naidu 39 and Kahini Panjabi 29 behind boutique creative agency Naidu amp Panjabi have been living apart for a year Panjabi works out of Kolkata and lives with her parents while Naidu is based out of Mumbai We visit each other every month and workrelated travel in Bengaluru and Hyderabad always brings us together Panjabi shares and for Naidu even though living apart makes business sense in the interim its a sacrifice Its funny because Ive always avoided longdistance relationships in the past And now its like Ive gone back to living like a bachelor again It is easier when the other person plays an active part in your daily life But I would not choose this over living in the same house he advisesAbisha and SushantA silver liningMumbaibased counsellor Abisha Fernandes 23 married Sushant Koshy 29 who works in Bengaluru as a product manager in December last year The two have been in a longdistance relationship for one and a half years But Fernandes says that the two spend quality time when they are living apart and merely thinking of Koshy as a supportive figure helps her in stressful situations Its a silver lining in a way We had no plan on how to stay connected when we got together but we eventually figured out a pattern So we talk before heading to work and before sleeping We also have date nights she laughsTara and DanielShuttle serviceActress chef and author Tara Deshpande Tennebaum married Bostonbased Daniel Tennebaum in 2001 She reminisces how difficult maintaining a longdistance relationship was during the time You spent 2 per minute on a Skype call So its definitely more possible today with this technology It was also one of the reasons why I left Bollywood she tells us Her husband visits Mumbai every few weeks with Deshpande also shuttling between two countries But she maintains that distance is not a bad thing Sometimes just the thought of loving someone reassures you But even with all the technology today the tendency to replace real relationships with virtual ones is a lot like the difference between sunlight and a UV lamp It is important to spend a larger part of the year togetherSangita and ShailendraThe myth of technologyTrust is the most important factor in any relationship But both partners need to make an active effort to stay in touch says Mumbaibased film and television actress Sangita Ghosh Ghosh and her husband Jaipurbased polo player Shailendra Singh Rajput travel across cities to meet each other every month and they ensure that every meeting has a celebratory setting not just for Valentines Day Ghosh prefers to talk rather than text Theres a lot of miscommunication that can happen when you message So theres a problem with technology too Youre always dependent on network and when you dont get coverage you often get irritated and stupid thoughts like is he avoiding me crop up she explainsTips on staying emotionally connectedAccording to Dr Minnu Bhonsle senior consulting psychotherapist and relationship counsellor at Heart to Heart India when two partners are living away from one another it isnt enough to merely keep track of the other You need to be emotionally attached1 Make conversations about shared dreams Listen to your partners aspirations take interest and actively work to materialise them Create happy moments in daily conversations2 Schedule a zero hour For instance commit to a video call and if youre having pizza in Brisbane dont talk about the pizza or the scenery but make the conversation more meaningful by asking about the other persons day3 Many couples assume that they were emotionally intimate before getting into a longdistance relationship so technology can only help so much Even though sexual intimacy may be absent you can build on the fantasy of physical intimacyCatch up on all the latest Mumbai news crime news current affairs and also a complete guide on Mumbai from food to things to do and events across the city here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates