At the same time they also need to watch how they respond to what their significant other has to say. Just because you&rsquo;re extremely comfortable with someone doesn&rsquo;t mean you never have to watch your mouth. &ldquo;Communication is tricky. We all hear words differently (and filtered through our experiences, which are certainly different from our partner&rsquo;s) and we all want to be communicated with in a style we understand,&rdquo; Life coach Jean Grossman said. &ldquo;I also believe that &lsquo;the tune makes the music.&rsquo; If what we are saying is said in a kind or loving way it feels differently than when spoken in anger or retribution,&rdquo; she said. So what are some things you should never say to your dearly beloved? After speaking with Grossman, as well as with some other relationship experts, Huff/Post50 came up with the following list of nine things to never say to your spouse. <img alt="Sex and relationships, Things you should never tell to your spouse" src="http://images.mid-day.com/2013/apr/couple-fighting.jpg" style="width: 500px; height: 427px;" /> Representational picture 1. &ldquo;You always...&rdquo; or &ldquo;You never...&rdquo; Think about it. Neither of these is true. If you start a sentence with these words your mate is certain to shut down or start a fight. Stop for a minute and think about what you really mean to say -- and then say that instead. 2. &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t you think so-and-so is attractive?&rdquo; Believe me, nothing good can ever come from a spouse giving you his or her opinion on this one. This will only fuel the flames of any argument that may be brewing. 3. &ldquo;My ex-boyfriend/ex-husband/ex-girlfriend/ex-wife would never have done what you just did...&rdquo; or &ldquo;...would have done a better job than you...&rdquo; Talk about making a partner feel terrible in general, one should always shy away from comparisons. 4. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m just trying to hang in there until our last leaves for college...&rdquo; If you had to single out one phrase that leaves little room for reconciliation it would be this one. This statement is incredibly hurtful even if you recant what you said a few minutes later. 5. &ldquo;I was on the fence about marrying you in the first place, and my worst fears were realized...&rdquo; If you&rsquo;re about to spit out a blanket statement like this, stop for a minute and think about what&rsquo;s behind your feelings. Talk openly about what&rsquo;s concerning you instead of lashing out. 6. &ldquo;I guess our (academically or behaviorally challenged/drug- or alcohol-ensnared) kid got YOUR genes...&rdquo; You might as well say &ldquo;I have no idea why I ever married you in the first place.&rdquo; Certainly playing the blame game will do nothing to help you realize and address what&rsquo;s legitimately behind your child&rsquo;s problems. 7. &ldquo;You&rsquo;re just like your father or mother...&rdquo; Again, jump to what&rsquo;s really troubling you about your partner without belittling your partner&rsquo;s family in the process. 8. &ldquo;You know it&rsquo;s always been your problem that...&rdquo; Who exactly wants to hear that from their partner? We all have a pretty good sense of ourselves at this point and having someone else point out a failing does nothing to engender a loving relationship. 9. &ldquo;Surely you could tell I&rsquo;ve been faking it all along...&rdquo; Just don&rsquo;t say this. Not ever. Even if it&rsquo;s true.

Long-time, happily married couples sometimes need to watch what they say and how they say it

Things you should never tell your spouse

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Things you should never tell your spouse

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