At the school play

You know its true that as the year winds down you will find yourself at some school play or the other listening to younglings sing Silent Night not very tunefully I found myself at one this year at my niece Ks school Everyone who met me remarked impressed you are a very involved aunt K talks about you all the time I give myself a silent high five for managing the maasi optics wellK had two roles in the Nativity play Lamb and Angel My sister had made the costume so enthusiastically that she had put cotton wool on the tummy part also which made K look extremely cuddlesome if zoologically inaccurate As if to counteract this K proceeded to look extremely solemn whether baaing in the manger or singing the glory of baby JesusIn all school plays whether in movies or real life children will deliberately underact rub their eyes and look sheepishly yes I made the pun bite me at their parents in the audience I tried to make excitable expressions to prompt K to overact but she ignored me solemnly Being a productivitydriven creature I turned to my brotherinlaw at some point and asked Will this school always celebrate participation or will excellence make an appearance some day He gave me a discouraging look as if I had suggested torturing kittens for sport Hes right There will be time enough for productivity and excellence later The excellence of a school play is in its ragtag quality where we are all brought together by and for only one thing the love of children to celebrate their presence in the worldI met some friends in their school parent avatars and discussed their kids and ran into children of still other friends One who also calls me Maasi hugged me and asked you know were moving countries na Though we rarely meet sadness flooded me and I asked if shed write to me sometimes As I gave her my card she said its ok I can take your email from the bottom of your column making me teary that she registered this Children dont really need unctuous condescension They claim you for themselves and allow you to be variously present in their lives With some you change nappies some you babysit while mom is at her films edit others you give tight hugs It all counts for both of youThe last two decades have seen a rise in the concept of mommydom Recognising motherhood as an identity and an activity is very important especially in a culture which imbues it with naturalness and gives it divine status while ignoring the labour the needs the professional aspirations of mothers However so much of the mommyhood discussion ends up inadvertently reinforcing this specialisation this atomised identity For instance a young woman suggested to me the other day that my organisation might want to partner on a project about mothers because there must be some mothers in your teamThere arent But it would be a lonely world for children and parents if the only ones who need to think about children were their parents and if the only children we thought about were our own You can never have too many people to wish a Merry Christmas and a Happy New YearParomita Vohra is an awardwinning Mumbaibased filmmaker writer and curator working with fiction and nonfiction Reach her at wwwparodevipicturescomCatch up on all the latest Mumbai news crime news current affairs and also a complete guide on Mumbai from food to things to do and events across the city here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates