The National Rifle Association in America will be preparing their statement. Each time a nutcase goes berserk with a gun, they insist this proves everyone should have a gun, so in a couple of days, they’ll announce the only way to respond to events in Boston, is for every citizen to have a nail bomb.

In particular marathon runners, at each stage of the race, instead of taking a bottle of water and a sponge, which are useless in the fight against international terrorism, should be handed a grenade and a flame thrower.