My big fat AAP dharna

Earlier this week hundreds of people from a great city took to the street in an incredible show of grit and determination But enough about the Mumbai Marathon A day later Delhirsquos attempt to imitate Mumbairsquos megaevent failed when its citizens gathered around Rail Bhavan and then just sat down for two days I jest An Aam Aadmi Party AAP dharna is very different from a marathon For starters in a marathon African people can winHowever credit where itrsquos due The Aam Aadmi Party dharna in Delhi stuck with the partyrsquos manifesto of being for everybody by being an equal opportunity clusterfk and annoying everyone in equal measure There was so much stupidity on display during the dharna that they should have just called it Dhoom 4The Writingrsquos on the wall There was so much stupidity on display during Delhi CM Arvind Kejriwalrsquos dharna that they should have just called it Dhoom 4Not a single person involved in the events of last week acquitted themselves well Letrsquos start with the AAP itself To say that theyrsquove had a brutal first few weeks in power would be an understatement Theyrsquove had such a tough first month that David Moyes reads about them before bed every night just to feel good about himself The AAP has spent their entire first month in power being watched by the media and political parties both of whom seem to want nothing more than to see them fall flat on their face The AAP hasnrsquot helped its own cause much with infighting and the partyrsquos own MLAs openly dismissing Kejriwalrsquos leadership On the bright side Kejriwal and our PM now have something in commonThe nation not to be confused with Arnab Goswamirsquos THE NATION is also upset about the fact that AAP Law Minister Somnath Bharti led what appears to be a vigilante warrantless raid on four African nationals on suspicion of drugs and prostitution And then a video surfaced of Dr Kumar Vishwas at an event some years ago talking about south Indian nurses in a manner that can best be described as unflattering With this much racism sexism and emotional blackmail itrsquos heartening to know that when the AAP said it stood for the common Indian manrsquos values it wasnrsquot kiddingI canrsquot honestly say I understood Kejriwalrsquos kneejerk reflex to stage a dharna Yoursquore the Chief Minister of a state with constitutional machinery at your disposal If you want to prove that this country has a future you need to prove that its machinery works as opposed to having to circumvent it to get stuff done Protests are an impotant democratic tool when yoursquore disenfranchised and need to draw peoplersquos attention to something But yoursquore the verymuch enfranchised ruling party yoursquore the biggest brightest news story in the country You already HAVE our attention Now do something with it that doesnrsquot feel like a deleted scene from Rang De BasantiAlso making a hash of things was the media which leapt at every chance it had to suggest that the AAP is unraveling and not the answer to anything The mediarsquos tone across the board was savage and biased Strong evocative words like ldquochaosrdquo and ldquomockeryrdquo and ldquofailing the people of Delhirdquo were thrown about too casually I felt less like I was watching news coverage and more like I was watching a live onair existential crisis A crisis in which the media and the Internet realised that theyrsquore not the aam aadmi Kejriwal claims to stand for but the 1 per cent This is what all coverage sounded likeHour 1 Arvind Kejriwal is taking to the streets He is causing trafficHour 4 Arvind Kejriwal is not nice Our channel is now katti with him Hour 12 Arvind Kejriwal has failed India In fact Mahatma Gandhi himself rang us from heaven to say that he has burnt his ldquoKEJRU ROCKSrdquo poster Hour 25 Reliable sources tell us that Arvind Kejriwal invented AIDS And callcentres Hour 31 Kejriwal is Skeletor Now for a commercial break With only Congress Bharat Nirman adsAnd of course the most miserable of all was our established political class who seized every opportunity to jump on the Kejriwal is Satan bandwagon My personal favourite was Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde who called Kejriwal a ldquoyeda mukhyamantrirdquo I respect this statement for the sheer desiness of Shindersquos frustration When in doubt go with ldquoPAAGAL HAI SAALArdquoI also loved how parties fell over each other to suggest that Kejriwalrsquos shenanigans prove that hersquos no different from any other political leader And that is my big and only takeaway from The Big Fat AAP Dharna our politicians are so awful that the worst insult they can think of for someone is ldquoYoursquore so terrible yoursquore merdquoRohan Joshi is a writer and standup comedian who likes reading films and people who do not use the SMS lingo You can also contact him on wwwfacebookcomtherohanjoshi