Rosalyn D'Mello: Your best travel companion is you

Ive always fantasised about travelling through Europe on my own Representation PicThinkstockLast night I missed my flight to Paris It was scheduled to leave Mumbai at 230 am But one of my closest friends wanted to meet me before I could head to the airport whether to use me as a courier service or to genuinely say goodbye I still dont know I tried to tell him I had just an hour until my flight departed and there was the matter of entering the airport immigration clearance security checks and the final frenzied running to the right gate though he insisted Id have enough time Then he bailed on me I tried to get a cab to the airport but just one driver was willing to go if I paid him Rs 4500I looked at my watch it was past 230 am There was no point going now Then in that specific instant it occurred to me that the airline had had a caveat mdash I could have cancelled and had my flight fare refunded in full if Id done so 20 minutes before the flight was to take off Its okay I told myself money comes money goes money comes But I couldnt contain the regret I felt for not having just gone to the airport myself even four hours beforehand for allowing myself to be talked into waiting on someone What I wouldnt have given to be in Paris right nowI was borderline ecstatic when I woke up to discover that all of this had come to pass only within the terrain of my subconscious I had not in fact missed my flight and had not as a result ended up with money down the toilet I could trace the origin of this nightmare I had spent most of the previous day planning my trip to Europe in June In the course of a few hours Id turned my itinerary around completely Where before I was meant to go first to Turkey and Greece and then perhaps Germany now I was going to mostly land in Berlin then make my way to Prague and Kassel and finally head to Istanbul and Athens I had been slightly dependent on the same close friend from the dream to come along or to join me at some point Weve both been travelling companions to each other many times before But before I went off to sleep last night I had a premonition that this time Id be flying solo and I was profoundly exhilarated by that prospect instead of disappointed Id spent a week alone in Paris back in 2012 but Ive always fantasised about travelling through Europe on my own doing things in accordance with my own whim my will not suppressed at the altar of anothersPlanning your annual vacation is one of the most underrated things about being single in your thirties and forties Unlike your married counterparts you have only to pay for yourself not a whole family and no one can really veto your decision about your preferred holiday destination You work towards it save up through the year and then decide whether you want to hop across countries or spend time between just two and see the most of them You can choose a dorm over Airbnb for the experience of meeting strangers from lands diverse from your own or sleep on a couch to save money then splurge on a gorgeous room for a night or two You decide the parameters And surprisingly when you open yourself to all possibilities the world seems to open its doors to youIts a little tragic that many Indian women who happen to be single are too afraid to wanderlust alone Its not their fault either Our country doesnt necessarily encourage or facilitate single women travelling either alone or in a pair and so very few of us have known the joy of making our decisions in terms of where and when to go and where to stay what to do and for how long Were usually content to go with the flow of other peoples motivations We follow the plan rarely ever participating in the making of it Instead we make excuses We delay We wait until we have enough funds and even then never end up going Therefore rarely ever have many of us known what it means to be a truly singular entity in space and time in possession of free willIf youve never flown solo theres never been a better time Dont wait for your honeymoon or for your best friend to be free Dont be afraid to revel in your own company As Charles Bukowski reminds us in The Laughing Heart Your life is your lifeknow it while you have ityou are marvellousthe gods wait to delightin youDeliberating on the life and times of Everywoman Rosalyn DMello is a reputed art critic and the author of A Handbook For My Lover She tweets RosaParxSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycom