AWRITE ELECTION SEASON! For the next two months, I will begin every single column with those words. Know that I say them with the feigned enthusiasm of a groom bending for the millionth guest at his wedding reception. But I must say them all the same because this is a Serious Newspaper^TM (unless you’re reading this online, in which case, it is a Serious Website^J) I have been informed by friends in marketing that as a comedian I must “garner eyeballs” during election season. The problem is, marketing people do not explain these terms to you and just expect you to know what “garner eyeballs” means. So if the man whose eyes I gouged out last night is reading this, I apologise. (But he lives in Mankhurd, so technically I’ve improved his quality of life.)

Historical ride: AAP leader Arvind Kejriwal created history by becoming the first Aam Aadmi in the history of Aam Aadmis in Mumbai to get an auto that went by meter from the airport. Pic/PTI