India’s most historic TRP battle election in decades is too important to be reduced to a 600 word humour column.

As a responsible citizen keen to do his part, I’m suspending my usual 600 word fart-fest (“The Galaxy S5: Moditard or Congi?”), and in its place I offer an Election Dictionary to help novices (Rahul baba pay attention now) through the maze that is the Indian General Election: