TRAIng times

Citizens of the Indian internet What I am about to ask of you is unprecedented So unprecedented in fact that to some my request may seem impossible I need us to put aside our differences waits for gasping and shouting to die down and unite Thatrsquos right Irsquom talking to you NamoBhakt303 and YOU Libtard4Lyf and even you AAPIAN Let us cease our petulant squabbling for a moment We all want to outrage and run ShameOnHashtags and mine the depths of the internet for old incriminating statements that we can fling at each other But if we do not unite and fight we may soon cease to have a space where we can be our immature ridiculous cat GIFloving selves Because the neutral internet as we know it today could be gone very soonThe internet gives an equal opportunity for business and progress to everyone whether yoursquore an established wellfunded online shopping site or just one guy starting an onlineretail operation from his bedroom But all of that could change Very very soon Representation picThinkstockWhat makes the internet amazing is that all data is created equal An email you send your boss asking for leave to go to Bangkok is as a piece of data as equal as Facebook photographs of your holiday in Bangkok which in turn is as equal as a Google search for ldquostrange spots on genital areardquo which is as equal as a BuzzFeed story about how ldquoThis Man Went To Bangkok and Yoursquoll Never Believe What Grew On His Genitals NextrdquoThe internet also works on the idea that once you pay for a certain connection speed all data you request and send on that connection travels at the same speed no matter what site that data is coming from No single website has the right to pay a telecom operator more money to make their data go faster than a competitorrsquos This is one of those fundamentals that makes the internet democratic and gives an equal opportunity for business and progress to everyone whether yoursquore an established wellfunded online shopping site or just one guy starting an onlineretail operation from his bedroomBut all of that could change Very very soonBecause right now the internet in India is under the greatest threat itrsquos faced inhellip uh the two weeks that have passed since 66A went away As you read this telecom operators are petitioning the Telecom Regulatory Authority of India TRAI to allow them to carve the internet up into distinct little areas that you as a user would have to pay for separately If TRAI ratifies this you could be looking at a system where you have to pay 100 rupees just to access WhatsApp and Facebook another 100 just to access Twitter another extra 100 just to access online shopping sites and so on and so forth Itrsquos a level of greed so ludicrous that it would even make Suresh Kalmadi go ldquoBro thoda zyaada ho gayardquoAnd thatrsquos just one part of it Under the new framework of rules that telecom operators are proposing a wellfunded website could hypothetically pay a telecom operator to make their speeds faster while strangling the speeds of competitors the online equivalent of Shakti Kapoor setting Mithun Chakrabortyrsquos godown on fire in an 80s movieAnd if that sounds like a farflung dystopian future it isnrsquot because TRAI is going to decide on this issue one month from now And theyrsquove published a consultation paper on their website that helpfully allows you to read about the issue except Irsquom a little suspicious of where TRAIrsquos loyalties lie becausegtgt They only published the paper a week agogtgt in a corner on their own websitegtgt and itrsquos 118 pages long andgtgt full of obfuscating jargon and best of allgtgt rather conveniently TRAI has given internet users only until April 24th to respond and petition them to stop itSomeone at TRAI has clearly used the internet enough to know that if you spread diabolical conditions in boring jargon over 118 pages then internet users will probably just ignore them all and blindly click I AGREEBut this is where we need to unite and stop this from happening You can email TRAI right now at advqostraigovin with a subject line to the effect of ldquoKeep the internet neutralrdquo or ldquoSave the internetrdquo and if enough of us spam TRAI theyrsquoll have no choice but to listen to us For our right to cat videos and our right to call each other names on an open fair platform please do itRohan Joshi is a writer and standup comedian who likes reading films and people who do not use the SMS lingo You can also contact him on wwwfacebookcomtherohanjoshi