And so Sallubhai is free. Free on a Friday, what a release, yes? Rs 300 crores of the national exchequer is saved. A country’s collective prayers have been answered. My nariyal paani seller, who has views on everything from why Kings XI Punjab keeps losing, to Kejriwal’s political future, said to me, chopping some kernel, “Arrey Saab, mujhe pata tha. Bhai jail nahin jayega. Yeh India hai”. Everyone took the 5 year sentence so personally.

The man was executed and eulogized in equal measure. “He should be let off for being so charitable! So what if he serially beats women — Ms Ali, Mrs Azharuddin and Ash Bachchan Rai, he's a loveable abusive brat with a big heart!”. “The only reason Puru Raaj Kumar isn’t in jail for having mowed down eight people is he’s a failed actor. Poor Sallu is in the limelight. That too he wasn’t even driving.” Ya right, his chauffeur has had a 13 year amnesia-type ailment called ‘tyreburstophobia.’ My favourite social media meme was ‘So what, my Salman only killed one person.’