Illustration/Uday Mohite

So, apparently, Pierce Brosnan wants to slit his wrists. This is the second Bond in the last year who wants to engage in this heinously messy suicide. Remember Daniel Craig had said he’d rather do that than play James Bond again? Pierce Brosnan’s reasons are different — he had endorsed Pan Bahar masala thinking it was a ‘tooth whitener & mouth freshener’. Now that he’s been told its real ‘health benefits’, the man is truly shaken and stirred. “I’m licensed to kill. Are you listening, Bahar? Pan Bahar”, he mumbled to the press.