So, I think of myself as a pretty cool guy. Up with the latest trends and lingo. When peeps of my generation talk nostalgically of things being "so simple in our time" and "kids of today, blah, blah, blah," I usually feel a tad superior. I want to say, "Chillax guys, get with the times."

Obviously, I can't be a millennial, because the numbers go against me. And yet, I have to say, every day, new words, new obsessions, crazy new challenges get added onto our social-media consciousness. For example, my neighbour's tattooed son told me nonchalantly, "Hey man (relieved he didn't call me uncle), I don't travel much. I'm into staycations, you see. I'm an Insta baddie." So, what's a staycation, you will ask, dear reader? It is a stay-at-home vacation. And an Insta Baddie is a super cool person, who's basically famous on Instagram (and rarely smiles, because he is so cool).