Because, you know, consent is king

One of the head honchos at a top film production house had an aspiring screenwriter drop in for a meeting in officea coldcall of sortsmainly to discuss job opportunities Now whether he was suitably impressed by what he saw or what he read one doesnt know He was keen though to take this meeting elsewhereideally not a public placeShe invited him over to hers During the carride when theyd only first met a few minutes ago he touched her in ways that can only be described as inappropriate They hung out at her place She found a foot in the productionhouse door He in fact encouraged her to try out actingWhat transpired between them over the following months is what was perhaps mutually assumed to be a consensual relationship Certainly nothing about quid pro quo was formally discussed Except this blew on his face given that he failed her in the screentest and her screenwriting career wasnt quite taking shape under his wings either She complained against the guyIt seems like a typical case of casting couchany oxymoron since it usually comes to light when there is a couch all right but the eventual casting doesnt occur The production house had a major release coming up Stakes were too high They couldnt afford negative publicity The guy was instantly kicked out of the company Its not important whether the friend relating this version of a MeToo story to me is a man or woman For no one argues for a war between sexes This is one hopes a battle against harassment at workplace regardless of gender where the power vested between two interacting adults is undoubtedly unequalPretty much every time Ive been in a large gathering ever since the MeToo storm hit social media nobody trusts cops courts for some reason the conversations have centred on the moral ethical codes of this spontaneous combustioninevitably discussing folk from showbiz since public figures form an easy pool of common among those who dont even know each other too wellAlso you believe the worst about showbiz because most of it is trueif you only consider some of the private responses from the powerful that Im aware of A major movie star for instance consoled his colleague exposed for repeated sexual harassment with I dont care if youve done it Tera l hai tu jo kare Or this gentleman calming a fellow filmmaker caught in the web Tu tharki hai Toh kya hua Mein bhi tharki hoonThis is symptomatic of a film industry very much reflecting its audience whose top two titans once fought at a party and never spoke to each other for years because one shamed the others ex who was not even there That was over a decade agoOutside of power play one perhaps rightly assumes that the relationshipease between genders depends a lot on the demandsupply curve when it comes to accesssocialisation between them This is no different for Bollywood where up until the early 2000s the only women you ever saw on a regular film set were the heroine and her mothergiving coverIs it any different for vast masses of Indian men seeing for the first time over generations the highest representation of women at the workplacehaving remained segregated from them otherwise whether in neighbourhoods public spaces or indeed allboys schools or non liberalarts colleges predominantly comprising men Online interactions especially in small towns operating under patriarchys radar I can sense is having a positively transformational effect in that regard But thats the futureFor now the older you are the worse How does one explain seriously creepy behaviourdefined as demeaning tactless expressions of desire cheap remarksjokesgestureswhether on social media street or officedesk the net effect of which as everyone knows is not going to lead to the man ever getting laid anyway if that was even the intentionMeToo as a movement is a response to this Why am I unlearning its only lesson which is to stay quiet and listen Because Im talking to Indian men and find more and more of them talk to each other on the nuances of whats unfolding and ought to Of course not every Indian man is a creep But like Muslims in the modern world he pays the price for deviants he abhors just as muchYou know how if youve been a young male adult in a largely liberal uppercrust metropolitan India inescapably clubbed with thousands of pests whether at a nightclub or elsewhere No you dont make a move This aint the West And she has ways to let you know if she likes you Stay calm Eat papad Its free Works out better for all Every culture defines its own social codes Bumble the newest dating app in that sense is closest to the ageold Ramayan Even once you match she sends you the first message The rest go home Thats what Sita did in her swayamvar noMayank Shekhar attempts to make sense of mass culture He tweets mayankw14 Send your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomCatch up on all the latest Mumbai news crime news current affairs and also a complete guide on Mumbai from food to things to do and events across the city here Also download the new midday Android 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