Clap if you care about cancer

In January 1993 during those terrible days when Mumbai was on fire when the blood of inflamed hatefilled Hindus and Muslims filled the streets nothing much happened in the elite enclave of Lokhandwala complex The world was burning but on the marshlands where our houses stood all was wellThat changed one day I remember it as the day when I saw how a neutral peaceloving citizen could be subtly shamed and armtwisted in public to demonstrate agreement with something against his willThose who survived that awful January might remember how few policemen were on the job while the city burned But where we lived a pious little faux NGO whose energy went mainly in publicising its socialite founder and claiming to help the downtrodden decided to give away awards to Lokhandwalas stalwart policemen The NGO thought all shops should be closed in homage to policemen during the awards function but the shopkeepers felt differently Push came to shove there were blows and the police came in led by a subinspector Khan not his real name Someone purportedly a Shiv Sena leader was bruisedTwo days later news spread about a Shiv Sena morcha from Four Bungalows to Lokhandwalas to request Inspector Khan to apologise Ominously the morcha was to end outside a popular kebab restaurant run by a Muslim family at the colonys first crossroadsThere was tremendous excitement The trendy in their jean Bermudas convened to hear the speeches licking icecream cones from Yankee Doodle and went to see the beginning of the tamasha It was my first direct experience of rabblerousing at workThe speeches grew louder and more strident Finally the Shiv Sena shaka pramukh clearly the main man spoke A reasonable voice peppered with jokes and poison steadily rising in tempo and volume as he began posing rhetorical questions about the intentions of a certain community People nodded as though he was making important points that needed makingHe ended the speech by raising his hands and shouting Jai Shri Ram A handful of voices returned the salute What said the shakha pramukh surprised Cant say Jai Shri Ram He repeated the salute a few more voices joined inIm getting worried he said and somehow it sounded like a threat Who are you people who find it difficult to say three simple words Jai Shri Ram This time nearly half the crowd strongly returned his saluteMuch better he said But maybe we should ask who these other people are whose mouths did not open Are they one of us or He left the implication hanging The pramukh had set a trap and we were all in it Its called coercion through public shaming I didnt say Jai Shri Ram but I was quivering with fear I was freshly reminded of this manipulative process again four days ago when I was forwarded a Facebook post about someone fighting the crippling pain of osteoarthritis I struggle with pain mobility issues and fatigue every day The most frustrating part is people look at me and say It cant be that bad you look fine despite the fact that my body is experiencing excruciating pain all over I apologise if I miss events that I would love to attend One day youll understand my daily strugglesThe post ended with familiar words I know few actually even take the time to read what their friends have written If you are my friend please in honour of your family member or a friend who is struggling daily with pain copy and paste this to your page If youre my true friend write done in the comments and Ill know if you made it to the end of this messageFacebook is the worlds shaka pramukh the enabler of posts that shame people into meaningless expressions of compassion and concern through copyandpaste At one time friendship used to mean being present in body and spirit for friends in needOdious chain posts like this spawned a Facebook page called I Fing Hate Copy and Paste Pleas And in a post on such faux activism blogger Sandip Roy labels this as passiveaggressive emotional blackmailA status update is now a litmus test of friendship a word stretched thin by Facebook anyway A copiedandpasted message does nothing to bolster the strength of a cancer survivor Honestly its a waste of empathyI thought of those people who finally muttered Jai Shri Ram at the Shiv Sena morcha and wondered how many of them went home thinking So what was so wrong about saying it anyway Im a Hindu after all Why cant I say Jai Shri Ram if they can say Allah hu AkbarHere viewed from there C Y Gopinath in Bangkok throws unique light and shadows on Mumbai the city that raised him You can reach him at cygopigmailcom Send your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomCatch up on all the latest Mumbai news crime news current affairs and also a complete guide on Mumbai from food to things to do and events across the city here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates