Do we crave validation from our friends and colleagues on our social media more than we should? And do we really resent it if our friends are “influencers”?
Even as I gather more followers and have them share my opinions, and sometimes even seek them out, seeing that “heart”, or comment or share by a family member, friend, or colleague means a lot. Representation Illustration/istock
I have been seeing a trending reel that says, “Everyone loves an influencer till their friend is trying to be one”. Could that be true? Do we not enjoy it when our friends put out their talents, achievements or their supposedly exciting lives on social media?
Do we resent them giving their opinion on controversial issues, as if they are experts? Do we find it cringeworthy that they share their vacation photographs as if they are celebrities?
For me, even as I gather more followers and have them share my opinions, and sometimes even seek them out, seeing that “heart”, or comment or share by a family member, friend, or colleague means a lot.
And I notice it when people I care about don’t like my posts, or share them, or even mention them to me when they meet me. And though it makes me uncomfortable, I am curious to know what the other thinks, especially because I have lost friends who think I am “extra”, thanks to my social media posts.
When I started reading up, a few reasons popped up, thanks to opinion pieces like mine and Reddit threads. Sometimes people feel that their friends are different online and offline, and that creates a rift. Some friends have a problem if they are “used” as content. Some feel that everything their influencer friend does seems like a performance. Some find it fake.
All valid reasons. And as I write them out, I wonder what’s the solution to this dilemma. On the one hand, a creator or influencer feels slighted and upset that the people in their life don’t validate or support them. On the other hand, we have a friend or colleague or family member who just can’t get on board with this very public, self-important individual.
Maybe if we communicated, it would all be simpler. Maybe if we asked ourselves honestly, why it bothered us when our friends posted, we would come up with an honest answer. Maybe if we realised that we didn’t need validation from anyone other than ourselves, we would be happier. Maybe if we realised that giving support and “likes” to our friends won’t make them more obnoxious but would help them feel appreciated, we would be more generous. Maybe we, influencer or the non-influencer friend, all need to just stop overthinking the likes and the hearts.
We should listen to Lele Pons, Venezuelan-American artist and social media creator, who said in an interview, “The best advice for anyone trying to grow on social media is to be real and to be consistent. People will connect more with you if you stay true to yourself and who you are. Just have fun with it and don’t be afraid to take risks.” If you are a creator, like me, keep doing what you are. Just be as authentic as you can and let your true supporters find you. And if you are on the other side, the one scrolling, the one holding all the power, be honest with your friends if they cross a line. But know that sometimes, they, who put themselves out every day, need your support the most. We are all humans at the end of it.
See you next week.
Ranting and raving about all that’s trending on social media, Aastha Atray Banan is an author, creator, podcaster, and the Editor of your favourite weekend read, Sunday mid-day.
She posts at @aasthaatray on Instagram. Send your feedback to mailbag@mid-day.com
The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper.
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