How to name a cyclone

My building society sat down to assess the damage that Mondayrsquos cyclone had causedmdashtorn up chajjas smashed windows future plans of protectionMr Glasswalla said ldquoMaara baap it felt like our building was made of that lsquosu naam chhersquohellipaaah aah LegordquoMrs Hiloowalla agreed ldquoHaan bhai haan I was holding onto my French windows for dear liferdquoMr Khidkiwalla said ldquoObviously you did not hold them firm enough one of those windows fell down eight floors and destroyed my carrdquoMrs Hiloowalla replied ldquoThat lsquokatararsquo is not a car samajyu ke it should be an exhibit in Prince of Wales MuseumrdquoMr Gyaanchand the buildingrsquos self appointed Wikipediaist informed ldquoBy the way did you know the word lsquocyclonersquo comes from the Greek lsquocyclosrsquo which means lsquocoiling of the snakersquoMr Khidkiwalla queried ldquoTell me why such tough names for these cyclones yeh Cyclone Tauktae kaisa naam hairdquoMr Kaanchwalla said ldquoI thought first it was lsquoTalkativersquo Irsquom thinking have they named it after Glasswallarsquos wife or whatrdquoHis neighbour Mr Paniwalla said ldquoBoss if it was named after your wife the way she sings her bhajans it should have been Cyclone BesoorardquoMr Gyaanchand said knowledgeably ldquoTauktae is Burmese for GeckordquoMr Pancharam asked ldquoGecko what gecko Gecko su chherdquoMr Gyaanchand answered ldquoGecko is a very vocal lizardrdquoMiss Hawaani said ldquoThen why not call it Cylcone Lizard Gecko thoda complicated hai nardquoMrs Nallaseth said ldquoBecause Miss Hawaani the cyclone was named by the Burmese not Shashi Tharoor got itrdquoMiss Manjrekar offered ldquoIf it is a very vocal lizard then why not call it Cyclone KanganardquoMr Gyaanchand said tiredly ldquoYou people donrsquot read ya We are a part of a group of nations called WMOESCAP made up of Pakistan Yemen Bangladesh UAE Myanmar etc each country takes turns naming the cyclonerdquoMr Hiloowalla asked ldquoSo who is naming the next onerdquoMr Gyaanchand was quick to report ldquoYemen has named it lsquoYaasrsquordquoMr Glasswalla said ldquoYaas matlab like yes or yeah or yaah What a stupid name We should name the next Cyclone Maybe or Cyclone NordquoMr Menezes offered ldquoHow about Cyclone BakwaasrdquoMrs Hiloowalla said ldquoWe in the building should have our own name for the cyclonerdquoMr Kaachwalla asked ldquoBut why is there a need for thatrdquoMr Pacharam said helpfully ldquoArre duffer so when Mr Sopariwalla who has a sea facing flat sees the harami cyclone approaching from Mandwa he can shout to all of us ldquoOyeeee Cyclone Maki Aunty aawechrdquo or aapro Mr Trivedi can warn us ldquoCyclone Kokila Fui is coming khidki bandh karordquo Mrs Nallaseth said ldquoArre donrsquot be so sexist why are you naming these cyclones after us ladiesMr Gyaanchand said helpfully ldquoCyclones were named after women from the 1900s men names began only after 1979rdquoMr Khidkiwalla said ldquoI read somewhere that these cyclones should not have controversial namesrdquoMr Menezes asked lsquoAnd my man what constitutes lsquocontroversialrsquordquoMr Gyaanchand said ldquoMeans it shouldnrsquot be insulting to any person or community and neutral to politicsrdquoMiss Haawani said ldquoGot it so we should refrain from naming it Cyclone AdityanathrdquoMrs Nallaseth advised ldquoYes Okay I have an idea what if we name the cyclone after bad Bollywood filmsrdquoMr Khidkiwlla said ldquoIn fact letrsquos name it after a film so bad that the cyclone will be terrified to move out of the Arabian SeardquoMr Panchram said ldquoIrsquove got it I have a name for the cyclonehelliprdquoEveryone waited with bated breathMr Panchram suggested ldquoI say we call it Cyclone RadherdquoRahul daCunha is an adman theatre directorplaywright photographer and traveller Reach him at rahuldacunhamiddaycom