How to say things youve never said

We needed a new word to describe the egregious limp feeling of a lifeless handshake Some people just place their hand like a gulab jamun without an owner into your hand and call it a handshake A bit like being handed a dead mouse You want to drop it and run from the room screaming It turns out there simply is no word in English to describe that feelingI told my writers to get on the case and create a new word if necessary By afternoon we had pilshum He placed a pilshum in my hand I thought to myself this one is not getting the jobI have long been a collector of words that describe things for which we dont have words I have a durable list of favourites and am pleased to share my trove with you mdash may you say things youve never said beforeAltschmerz Weariness with the same old same old that youve always had mdash the same twitches and tics the same personality flaws that youve never been able to correct nothing new under the sun everything is beentheredonethat nothing to do but lie there and do nothing Thats altschmerzKuebiko I feel this a lot and I bet you do too A state of near exhaustion inspired by an act of senseless violence You feel like an ineffectual scarecrow caught in the middle of turbulence arms flapping but helpless to do anything about itOnism I will never freefall from a plane Nor go bungee jumping Nor eat fermented fish in Iceland Or stand at the tip of a volcanos crater watching lava surge out Or touch the shell of a Galapagos turtle So little time and so many things I will never do Thats the feeling of onismOpia Ever tried staring into someones eyes without flinching Experienced that intensity of being vulnerable to a stranger whose privacy you are invading while being invaded in turn A moment of nowheretohide nakedness Thats a moment of opiaVemoumldalen In a world where everyone has a smartphone capable of taking breathstoppingly beautiful pictures everyone has vemoumldalen mdash that moment you click a photo of a stunning sunset or waterfall or full moon or a smile in closeup and realise that you must be the zillionth person to be taking the exact same photoVellichor Any booklover would love this Its the strange wistfulness of used book shops filled with shelves upon shelves of priceless books you will never have time to read books abandoned by their authors and owners sitting like lonely widows waiting for a lovers touch Thats vellichorMal de coucou Designed for the Facebook age Its when you have an active social life maybe on Instagram but no real friends you can trust or turn to when you need a shoulder to cry onAnecdoche Ever been part of a conversation in which everyone is talking but no one is listening to what anyone is saying Like a game of Scrabble gone bananas Thats an anecdocheThe English language is remarkable for two things mdash the number of words it doesnt have and the number of words it shamelessly borrows from other languages The British came to India left behind the railway lines and famines but stole gymkhana loot dekko charpoy and curry Well heres a list of words English ought to steal but hasnt yetCafuneacute The gesture of affectionately running ones fingers through a loved ones hair PortugueseSobremesa When the food is over but the conversation is still flowing SpanishNervio A feeling of affection so intense that you want to squeeze the object of it almost to the point of harm SpanishTartle That panicky moment of hesitation just before you have to introduce someone whose name you cant quite rememberPelinti Ever bit into a piping hot pizza too soon and then hopped about the room shaking your head with your mouth open unable to chew and unable to spit Thats a moment of pelinti GhanaMencolek When youre feeling frisky so you prankishly tap someone on the other shoulder from behind Youre doing that old menfolk again IndonesiaFaamiti You hear it in Mumbai a lot and it sounds like chwooooop A squeaking sound made by sucking air past the lips to get someones attention SamoanYaarburnee Makes me cry this one Its the wish that you may die before the one you love so deeplyBut my alltime favourite because of the surge of complex interwoven feelings it evokes is mdashPetrichorIm walking down a street under a lowering thundering sky The wind becomes chillier and leaves rustle in eddies Your nose twitches to that unique aroma of wet earth You know a hard rain is comingThat smell Thats petrichorHere viewed from there C Y Gopinath in Bangkok throws unique light and shadows on Mumbai the city that raised him You can reach him at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paperCatch up on all the latest Crime National International and Hatke news here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates