So, in India's view, only two people can save India from Pakistan, or vice-versa: Narendra Modi and Vicky Kaushal. Twitter has indicated this — us bloodthirsty Indians, fresh from losing 44 jawans in Pulwama, demanded that Modiji respond in kind in the unkindest way possible. And suggested Vicky Kaushal lead this attack — I mean, he destroyed the Pakis in Uri: The Surgical Strike, right? So, why not send him to avenge Pulwama?

They both swung into action: Modi sabre-rattled, and Kaushal, Rambo-like, put on the greasepaint, waiting for the appropriate time to retaliate. But then Modiji made the cardinal mistake of leaving the decision to the Air Force, and it became an air conflict, and obviously became too expensive for Bollywood to turn into a Hindi movie. (I mean, do you have any idea, dear reader, what it costs to rent an F16 for a day?)