I don’t want to know Victoria’s Secret

As if Sydney Sweeney wasnrsquot enough the supermodels are back with the Victoriarsquos Secret runway show They strutted looking like Amazonian goddesses in incrediblelooking lingerie and social media was inundated with the men cheering on their sexy partners Kylie Jenner wore the Fantasy Bra worth 50 million as Timotheacutee Chalamet looked on like a ldquoproud boyfriendrdquoBarbara Palvin was cheered on by husband Dylan Sprouse who called her ldquosuper momrdquo for walking on stage only six weeks after giving birth as Palvin herself felt ldquoempoweredrdquo New mothers all over would be justified in rolling their eyes in disgustAnd all I could think was ldquoWow another show that solidifies an impossible standard of beautyrdquo even as most women struggle to find a bra that supports them on a daily basisMy question is mdash is beauty only defined by how the ldquoangelsrdquo look on the runway Letrsquos start with their bodies mdash most of them have flat tummies long legs slender torsos and ample breastsEven the ldquocurvyrdquo models like Ashley Graham are tall with flat tummies Letrsquos come to hair and makeup mdash itrsquos elaborate and impeccable The sixinch heels the jewels and the wings make them look larger than life which is fine on the runway but not so much in real life Even Wonder Woman the Amazonian known as Diana of Themyscira wore boots to fight the world Then why does this show still existItrsquos because the male gaze still decides what is sexy If we got women to decide what was sexy mdash we would see a lot of loose flowy dresses pockets in everything antifits and maybe no lingerie at all What women find sexy on themselves and what men find sexy on a woman is very different But then why is that most popular fashion that women finally end up wearing is based on what men find sexy Especially lingerieAs I read up I realised it was because female undergarments were seen mostly as a tool of ldquoseductionrdquo rather than a functional item And hence the male gaze crept into a world where it had no business being That it was made of lace and silk was seen as more alluring than being completely nude which made it an instrument of mystery Corsets pushups and the Victoriarsquos Secret bra were meant to cater to the male fantasy and hence women felt the need to conform to them so that they could be considered sexyItrsquos only in the last few years with the rise of the new wave of feminism that lingerie has been seen as a tool of ldquoselfempowermentrdquo for women If you dress up beautifully you feel beautiful and you project a confident image to the world We now wear lingerie to selflove not to be loved by the opposite sex That we are dressed sexy underneath our corporate wear is a sign to the inner you to behave like the goddess we are in mind body and soul Itrsquos almost like dressing up for the woman you wish you were mdash manifesting body positivity and confidence This goes for all women of all shapes sizes and colour But a show like the Victoriarsquos Secret show dismantles that notion From an exercise of selflove it becomes another grotesque unreal and manufactured standard of beauty To look like an angel we will have to work a lot on our bodies It defeats the purpose of the bodypositivity movements which ask you to love and work with the body you haveHow can we ensure a future where this show doesnrsquot exist Maybe we stop buying from Victoriarsquos Secret and only give our money to brands that walk the talk on diversity and invest in a more inclusive beauty universe Maybe we stop looking at the women in the show as aspirational and just as models And maybe we start defining what beauty style grace and sexiness mean to our individual selves and go with that If I had to list my favourites I would say Nonita Kalra my exboss from Elle and fashion editor and writer Sujata Assomull are two of the sexiest women I know mdash they dress for their bodies and keep comfort and fashion at the forefront Another exboss Tinaz Nooshian who was also exeditor of midday flaunted her sexiness every day in Indian textiles and unusual shapes and silhouettes In the end they are all unapologetically themselves mdash and thatrsquos what true sexiness isSee you next timeRanting and raving about all thatrsquos trending on social media Aastha Atray Banan is an author creator podcaster and the Editor of your favourite weekend read Sunday midday She posts at aasthaatray on InstagramSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paper