Koo are you?

And so a new social media app has been launched in India called Koo The aim is to put Twitter out of business and all Indian politicians and celebrities are shifting thereThe first issue to be tackled is to find an equivalent to the word lsquoTweetrsquo In other words when you send message on Koo is it a lsquoKooweetrsquo Sounds too much like a West Asian country Or a HaiKooThe symbol of Koo as you all know is a yellow coloured chicklike bird clearly pitting it against the light blue chubby dove of Jack Dorseyrsquos microblogging platformBut all is not well with the animals in the wildThe tigress called a meeting of the beasts in the jungle for an urgent summitlike conference In attendance were several representatives from the subgenres of the bird and mammal world The idea was to put a petition across to the IampB Ministry It read ldquoWe the animals and birds of the jungle object to the symbol of the yellow chick This is no bird but a product of poultry and also it is nonvegetarian We request you change the symbol and the namerdquoBut then came the all important issue what should the symbol be Which animal was to be represented The tigress said ldquoOkay each of you candidates have to argue your case in one or two sentences and we will debate since the jungle is a democracy One essential is the name you choose has to rhyme with lsquoKoorsquordquoFirst the cow spoke up ldquoI should be the face of the app I am the sacred animal of India and it should be renamed lsquoMoorsquordquoldquoOkay your candidacy is notedrdquo said the Speaker of the House Baloo the bearThe crow went next ldquoSince we should be focussing on birds Irsquom by far the most common Irsquom like the common man of birdsrdquoldquoYoursquore genuinely irritating with your raucous lsquokaw kawingrsquo people are constantly clapping their hands waving you awayrdquo the kite argued ldquoThatrsquos why I thought an appropriate name would be lsquoShoorsquordquo the crow said selfdeprecatinglyNext the owl flew in and staked his claim ldquoLadies and Gents I am wise I work day and night 24x7 I recommend that the platform has my face and be renamed lsquoUlloorsquordquoldquoNo no we cannot have Ulloo That is a Hindi word The South states will be unhappy If you have to stake your claim Mr Owl you need another name in EnglishrdquoldquoOkay how about you call me and the app lsquoTwit Twoorsquordquo the owl said wiselyAnd then the peafowl spread her plumage and stated arrogantly ldquoSee understand Irsquom the national bird of India I have more talent than the whole of Hollywoo Irsquom a more glamorous Gal than Wonder Woo and I perform better action stunts than Tom Croo I demand an app in my honour Since I have threatened to leave Twitter Who will leave with merdquoldquoI will never leave with you you called me a lsquodruggiersquordquo the tigress saidldquoYou are a lsquodruggiersquo Why do you think the Narcotics Control Bureau are after yourdquo the peafowl askedldquoJust because I sleep so much doesnrsquot mean I take drugs you fowl sorry foolrdquo the tigress roaredldquoI donrsquot care what any of you think Irsquom the greatestrdquo the peafowl announcedThe tigress smiled and said ldquoOkay Miss Peafowl I have the perfect name for the app One that best describes you and the claims you makerdquoldquoWhat is name that best describes merdquo the peafowl asked expectantlyldquoCucKoohelliprdquo the tigress concludedRahul daCunha is an adman theatre directorplaywright photographer and traveller Reach him at rahuldacunhamiddaycom