Lobo Lobo and the oxygen tanks

My cable TV guy Lobo Lobo came over two oxygen tanks attached to his backmdashcovering his eyes were goggles and his mouth had snorkelling gearldquoHi Lobo Lobo are you uhm going scuba diving in Lakshwadeep or deep sea diving in the Maldiveshellip all the celebs are heading there rightrdquoldquoYoursquore mad o wot Dikuna men Why you tink Irsquom planning to go on a holiday during a lockdown men you donrsquot read de papers o wot Why you aksing dis weird quotchen chherdquoldquoUhm I guess Irsquom just asking because yoursquore sitting in my living room dressed like a deep sea diverhellipand if yoursquore not joining Ranbir and Alia in the Maldives why do you have oxygen tanks attached to your backrdquoldquoFor oxygen purposes men to breade dats why dere is a shortage of 02 in Mumbai so Irsquove got my own supplyrdquoldquoDo you have breathing issues have you checked your oxygen levelsrdquoldquoNo no uffff men Dikunahellip my breading is fine chhe Arrey all dose ministers said whachucall dey tolded all states to fend for demselevs for oxygen and some states like Maharashtra have less oxygen in de air so Irsquom fending for myself and de family Irsquom being a model citizenrdquoldquoSo that still doesnrsquot explain why yoursquore wearing deep sea diving equipmentrdquoldquoOh foe boss wersquove been told to control our breading so you see Irsquom killing two birds wid one stonerdquoldquoHow are you doing thatrdquoldquoSee men dis new virushellip dis B 1 618 itrsquos like de cuzzin brudder of de last one itrsquos a damn slimy fellow men it is lurking around in de air solid lsquokhunnasrsquo itrsquos got against mankind menmdashso if de last Wuhan virus was like Casper de FriendlyGhost dis one is like dat Hotstuff the Devil Ghosthellip real danger fellow so I tought dat if I wear full scuba diving wear Irsquoll cover my face my mout and breade at de same time clever nordquoldquoUhm yes I suppose so And how are Myrtle and Ronaldo and Cinderella coping with breathingrdquoldquoOkay so de BMC are coming building to building and flat to flat and dey are telling to all de tenants that not everyone can take de breaths at de same timerdquoldquoI donrsquot quite understand yourdquo I said confusedldquoSee men Dikuna you are little slow today lemme explain if you are a family of foe like we are according to de BMC we cannot all take breaths at de same time got it So first I take a breat den Myrtle takes a breat den dat duffer son of mine Ronaldo and finally my Cinderella breadsrdquoldquoSo what does the BMC expect you and Myrtle and Ronaldo to do while Cinderella takes a breathrdquo I askedldquoDey expect us all to hold our breathellip since dere is not enuff oxygen in de airSo you see Dikuna men my grey cells are working dis is why I have bought dese oxygen tanksrdquoldquoWhat happens if a regular family who donrsquot have oxygen tanks all breathe simultaneouslyrdquoldquoDe BMC have special oximeters dey will come and seal your flatrdquoldquoTell me Lobo Lobo it must get quite heavy carrying all that weight around rightrdquoldquoYes no doubt Dikuna men but at least we are still breading and following instructions of BMCrdquoldquoThis is BMC the Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporationrdquo I askedldquoNo no men dis is not dat BMC dis is anudder BMC dis one is BMCmdash lsquoBreathing amp Mutants CommitteersquordquoRahul daCunha is an adman theatre directorplaywright photographer and traveller Reach him at rahuldacunhamiddaycom