This is a true story. Someone I know wanted to change the date of birth published on her passport. She found out, like a lot of senior citizens do, that the date on her school leaving certificate was not the same as the one on her birth certificate, because she simply hadn-t bothered to pick up a copy of the latter. When she made the decision to ask for one, at a certain BMC office in South Bombay, she was made to wait for a mere seven hours before an employee condescended to give her the copy, for a fee. This was her own certificate, but she couldn-t have it without a fuss.

You and I both know what the fee was, of course, but we can-t use the right word to describe it because everyone knows the BMC is the most honest organisation in Mumbai.