Making leisure as relevant as chores

After the intensity of Augusts 31 days performing several parttime jobs while somehow also managing to complete the first draft of the first chapter of the sequel to A Handbook for My Lover Im enjoying settling into my solitudeSeptember has been calmer Ive ensconced myself in the bubble Ive carefully built so that every otherwise upsetting detail about matters over which I exercise little agency has to be filtered before it can alter anything within me in a molecular way After having nursed my feminist rage for almost a decade Ive learned how to imbibe a more sanitypreserving perspective over triggering thingsThis doesnt make me a less political being This is quite simply the mechanism Ive had to evolve to retain some of my recently acquired wholeness in a belligerently patriarchal and capitalistic worldIve been guiltlessly affording myself the luxury of listening to the natural world I spend time watching leaves turn waiting for particular flowers or fruits to bloom and cataloguing the various aromas that captivate my consciousnessI try to listen to the sound of grapes being crushed as they enter the steel barrels I watch the scoby in my first batch of Kombucha travel the length of the glass bottle through the day Sometimes it seems to be swimming at the bottom and sometimes I spot it levitating in the centre of the Earl Greyflavoured black tea potion it is currently inhabitingNear it rests a batch of sourdough starter I brought back with me from Innsbruck on Sunday from my friend Johannas kitchen Ive been feeding it regularly and I often walk in on the yeast when it is at its peak for a hit of its frothy warm dour breath When we go for evening walks to catch the moonlight I can smell ripening apples I am now more aware than I was before of the harvest schedule and Im gradually cataloguing the different scentsFor three months after having landed here I find the most profound biological change within me is the heightening of my powers of smell At first I thought I was simply more conscious of smell as a way of assuaging my paranoia about whether I might have contracted COVID19 Id learned from a few friends who did get infected that what they lost momentarily was their olfactory abilityBut now I wonder if its the cleaner air the fact that it isnt interrupted by other odours or sometimes stenches as was often the case in Delhi Or maybe its because I live in a tobaccofree environment Could that contribute to my ability to sift through various fragrances allowing them to enter my body in the first place I dont know Im still processing this newfound power and Im aware it is helping me sharpen my talents as a cookThere is a peace that comes from delighting in interiority that I cannot quite express For all the things I miss about home I have to say I dont at all long for or feel nostalgic about how people are always in your business all the time And of late Ive found that I have more energy because I dont have to contend with daily instances of misogyny or sexual harassmentWhen I walk on the street though Im aware my brown body is looked at I am relieved not to feel like Im being raped by someones gaze If I cover my body its because theres a chill in the air There is alot to be said about how having these basic freedoms can offer you a greater emotional bandwidth They should unarguably be a given especially when you are a citizen of a countryAdditionally to live in a home where my partner and his parents and I equally share housework so that no one is exclusively saddled with more tasks than they can handle comes as a welcome luxury All of these things have very directly translated into my having more time and being able to delight in that time For the first time since childhood I think about hobbies I might have liked to have evolved but couldnt before or skills I might want to acquire that I never had time to pursue beforeIm sharing this not to brag or to validate proximity to whiteness as something inherently empowering I want us to talk instead about the conditions that are necessary for womxn to feel like they have time for our minds to not be occupied with the challenge of pleasing our families and our societies or for our bodies to be constantly fielding off violations and aggressions To have instead the peace of mind and the leisure to daydream This should be as precious as every other right we are fighting for in our quest to smash Brahmanical patriarchyDeliberating on the life and times of Everywoman Rosalyn DMello is a reputable art critic and the author of A Handbook For My Lover She tweets RosaParxSend your feedback tomailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individuals and dont represent those of the paperKeep scrolling to read more newsCatch up on all the latest Mumbai news crime news current affairs and a complete guide from food to things to do and events across Mumbai Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates MidDay is now on Telegram Click 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