<img style="float: left;" src="http://origin.mid-day.com/images/2022/apr/Rahul-op_e.jpg" alt="Rahul Da Cunha" width="200" height="69" />Natasha aka Nats, my 18-year-old neighbour &nbsp;couldn&rsquo;t take her eyes off the telly screen.
The Oscars were her thing, and Benedict Cummerbatch was her guy.
&ldquo;Such an intelligent hunk&rdquo;, Nats drooled, silently.
She had &lsquo;cajoled&rsquo; me into watching the 2022 Academy Awards with her, at 6am.
&ldquo;Can&rsquo;t we just see the re-run, at a reasonable hour?!&rdquo;, I had attempted weakly to reason with her.
&ldquo;No Rahul bruh&hellip; live is live&hellip; plus Chris Rock is de man&hellip; want to see who he takes off on at the Oscars&rdquo;, Nats with gleeful expectation.
&ldquo;Gotta say, I hate this style of MC-ing, &nbsp;&lsquo;roasting&rsquo; rather than hosting&hellip; Ricky Gervais at the 2020 Golden Globes, Chris Rock tonight&hellip; these are plain bullies&mdash;Can&rsquo;t stand it when stand-up comedians pick on audience members, whether a lay&mdash;person or a luminary&mdash;your role is to commemorate an occasion, not chuck barbs aimlessly. Billy Crystal&rsquo;s Oscar hosting &hellip; &hellip; that&rsquo;s my scene!&rdquo;, I said, from the kitchen, as I prepared Nats an espresso.
Suddenly, there was silence and Chris Rocks&rsquo;s voice said, &ldquo;Wow! Wow! Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me!&rdquo;&nbsp;
Nats had her hand on her mouth in amazement&hellip; her expression, goo-goo eyed aghast-ness, she went silent, then let fly an incredulous - &ldquo;No waaaaaayyyyy&hellip; that&rsquo;s &lsquo;sick&rsquo;!&rdquo;
&ldquo;What&rsquo;s up&rdquo;, I asked, interested.&nbsp;
&lsquo;Dude&hellip; that&rsquo;s &lsquo;awes&rsquo;&hellip; you won&rsquo;t believe what just happened--that has to be a staged slap&hellip;.has to&hellip; it&rsquo;s &lsquo;obvio&rsquo;&hellip; a &lsquo;Men in Black slap&rdquo;, no way it&rsquo;s real&hellip; Will Smith&rsquo;s hand, bruh&hellip; that&rsquo;s like a Godzilla hand&hellip; Chris has hardly flinched&rdquo;,&nbsp;
The red carpet, has just turned red faced, we both realized this was &lsquo;slapgate&rsquo; alright.
As Will Smith strode back to his seat, and the world watched in shocked silence, I asked my teenaged neighbour -
&rdquo;So how do feel about this whole incident Nats...?&rdquo;
I could sense that Nats&rsquo; head was processing, her outer millennial grappling with her inner feminist.
&ldquo;Bruuh, I can see your mind judging me&hellip; you think that slap was justified, right?&rdquo;, Nats asked
&ldquo;I&rsquo;m not judging anyone&hellip; I just wanna know what you&rsquo;re thinking&hellip;&rdquo;, I probed.
&lsquo;I&rsquo;m thinking that if you&rsquo;re pissed off with the MC or with a stand -up comic, for what he&rsquo;s saying, heckle him, troll him on twitter&hellip; but a smack across the face, not cool&hellip; what&rsquo;s to stop anyone in an audience from just walking upto a comedian and slapping him, knocking him out cold, the example has been set!&rdquo;
Natasha aka Nats, wasn&rsquo;t finished.
Then the feminist in her, found its voice, a lowered tone&mdash;&ldquo;Dude, Rock went too far&hellip; he insulted Jada man&hellip; Alopecia, not funny&hellip; not cool making fun of someone&rsquo;s &lsquo;ailment&rsquo;&rdquo;.
&ldquo;You were the one arguing for &lsquo;roasts&rsquo; over &lsquo;toasts&rsquo;, where do you draw the line&hellip; once you allow that, gloves are off, anything is then fair game, Natasha!&rdquo;
&ldquo;Also, bruh&hellip; Chris Rock went down a vicious path, sure, but Will Smith&rsquo;s response?&hellip; Hmmm do I want &lsquo;my man&rsquo; to get up and &lsquo;protect&rsquo; me?&hellip;
If Jada Pinkett Smith had a problem with Chris Rock, she doesn&rsquo;t need her husband to defend her honour, its misguided chivalry, comprende?&rdquo;
Nats took a pause.
&ldquo;Essentially, we&rsquo;re talking about two celebs who didn&rsquo;t cover themselves with glory&hellip; one a tasteless jokester&hellip; the other a wayward Don Quixote. That&rsquo;s what I think&rdquo;
Nats had finished processing.
&ldquo;And you, what do you feel about this, Rahul uncle&rdquo;, Nats asked.
&ldquo;Me&hellip;I just think if I had played Muhammed Ali in a movie, that was far too weak a slap, should have been a real punch for that punch line!&rsquo;, I said.
&ldquo;Funny, Rahul bruh, funny!&rsquo;, Nats concluded, &lsquo;ciao, I&rsquo;m off for a run! Need to let off some steam!&rdquo;
Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com
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The Oscars were her thing, and Benedict Cummerbatch was her guy

Nats and the slap

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