So, dear reader, I'm sorry to inform you, I'm taking a break from writing this week. Why? Well, there's nothing to write about. Okay… maybe there is… but what do I write about that's new to you? You're aware of everything that's going on in the world, yes? Take Mr SLB… that's Sanjay Leela Bad Luck. He is having a hard time getting his film Padma-wait-i released. Apparently he's distorted history - everyone from the Hindi Belt is pi**ed off that Ranveer Singh had a dream about Deepika Padukone in 1540. My point is why shouldn't he… I mean, he and Dippy are an item, for crying out aloud. Whether in the 16th century or the present, that's their business if they wish to dream about each other. But no… a small but powerful political outfit called the WHAHOTRPSWCDWWWS (We Have A Hold Over The Ruling Party So We Can Do What We Want Sena) are burning down posters and uprooting seats in Uttar Pradesh multiplexes.

Illustration/Uday Mohite