So, my cable guy Lobo Lobo came to my house, unannounced, as the FIFA game between the USA and North Korea was about to begin.(Yes, before you correct me, dear reader, North Korea has a team. Kim Jong-un's demand to President Trump was that they be allowed to field a team, or else they would nuke the world.) Lobo Lobo stood at my doorstep, dressed in Egyptian football fan garb, complete with Tutankhamen headgear.

"Why are you dressed like the Sphinx?" I asked. "Mr Rahul… I'm a fan of Mo Salah, he's my choice for GOAT (Greatest of all Time). We are trying to get him as Chief Guest for our 'Vaka-Vaka' tournament, next year," Lobo Lobo replied. 'Uh, Mr Lobo, that was Shakira's song at the FIFA 2010, and the song is actually Waka-Waka." "No men, Vaka-Vaka, stands for 'Virar All Kick Association'. It's our own World Cup men; we hold it at the back of de church in Virar. Also we have our own official Vaka-Vaka song, we don't need dat bliking Robbie Williams or anyone else to sing for us."