Illustration/Ravi Jadhav

So, dear reader, remember my cable guy Lobo Lobo? Well, he showed up on Diwali day. "Chhe men, I'm bald ragged, men!" he announced. "Why are you pissed off, Mr Lobo? Is it the state of our city or our politicians downgrading the Taj Mahal?" "No men. Dose tings will never change. It's my three bratty children who are driving me cuckoo, men. Can't understand dese younger people's lingo… wot wot tings dey say, de phrases dey use, wot wot tings dey do… My younger fellow, Savio, he's telling his bum chum from Nagpada, after dey are one two pegs down, 'Eh Ansel bro, you are my brudder from anudder mudder'. Wot dat means, men? Dey are not brudders from different mudders, my Savvy has only one mudder, my Myrtle. And what's de big point of brudders — all my seven brudders are fighting over property. When dey say blood is ticker than water, it's all bunkus, men."