Rosalyn D'Mello: The 'organ'ised world of women

This issue has sealed my intimacy with so many female friends PicThinkstockLast evening I had an hourlong phone conversation with a strashynger I was soaking my swollen ankles in warm salted water I was superbly fatigued The last three days had been long and full of accumulated fears The most recent ultrasound had revealed that despite three months of allopathic medication the fibroid in my uterus hadnt shrunk In fact it had grown by 11 per cent The radiologist was alarmed When Id first visited him in April last year this intramural fibroid was just at 34x32mm Now it was 61x57cm It had come to this debating the merits of surgery a laparoscopic myomectomy or continuing with the Fibristal medication that has had its own side effects hair loss included This worrying health condition coupled with deadlines on important stories I was greatly invested in has been a source of immense stressAs I immersed my feet in water I decided to call back this friend of one of my best friends Bhuvana who believed in the benefits of alternative medicine She had received treatmshyent from the Tibetan doctor I had visited earlier in the evening and I was seeking her testimonial about its efficacy She drew my attention to a detail I had forgotten about the first thing Dr Dolkar did after going through my reports and seeing for herself how this fibroid had a better trajectory than my writing career She made me extend my hand across the desk of her dispensary whose walls were lined with Tibetan paraphernalia pictures of the Dalai Lama thankas and other such objects There was this medicinal scent that hung in the air emanating perhaps from the slew of wooden cabinets in the waiting room each of which held herbal concoctions made by her from ingredients she is known to source directly from the Himalayas Dr Dolkar an elegant Tibetan woman placed two fingers first on my left wrist then on my right closed her eyes and examined my pulseThe woman on the phone a traishyned reflexologist and acupuncturist told me that was Dr Dolkars most essential strategy Having never really surrendered to alternative healing before I wasnt aware of this form of divining Not known to be chatty Dr Dolkar matteroffactly asked wheshyther I was vegetarian or nonvegetarian I anticipated a sermon about the merits of the former lifestyle but she simply wrote down on a small postit sized paper three items I should incorporate in my diet fish bamboo shoot and seaweed Avoid chicken entirely she told me When I asked why she spoke concisely about the conditions in which most chickens are raised hinting at the hormonal injections many are given Any form of processed sugar was also to be avoided She wrote down a prescription and when I was leaving offered a singlesentence counsel Unless the whole uterus was being removed surgery was pointless because fibroshyids could resurfaceAt the counter outside the two Tibetan and one old Indian staff members assembled a months worth of medication a packet of what look like dried leaves and about five other packets of differently sized black round balls with instructions about when they were to be consumedBetween Jeena the woman on the phone and another writer friend Id met earlier in the evening at a book launch I learned so much about how our menstrual health has been so compromised because of the ambigshyuous nature of the food we consume about how milk and eggs cant be trusted about how processed sugar is omnipresent and how things like fibroids are symptomatic of these ensuing imbalances Janice Pariat my writer friend also empathised with me when I told her about the distress one feels when a decision youve made about not wanting to conceive ever is suddenly the source of consternation because you are made aware of the fact that the element of choice incumbent to your decision may no longer be availableAlthough I hate to think of womanhood being qualified by the presence or absence of a reproductive organ I am shocked by how much my experience of womanhood is defined by it This gynaecological issue has also sealed my intimacy with so many female friends all of whom not just sympathise but offer to accompany me on doctors visits and to take care of me should I ever need the help they range from professional contacts like my editors to mere acquaintances My biggest lesson so far has been to invest in a supportive feminist network of intshyershydependence Aditi Rao a poet friend who has been suffering from chronic illness since she was six put it beautifully in her piece A Feminist Guide to Illness It was only once I began exploring feminism in its nuance and depth that I realised that this go far go it alone no matter what it takes attitude is deeply patriarchalDeliberating on the life and times of Everywoman Rosalyn DMello is a reputable art critic and the author of A Handbook For My Lover She tweets RosaParx Send your feedback to mailbagmiddaycom