Say hello to someone new

I received a particularly interesting video via WhatsApp this week one that surprisingly didnt feature a politician doing something illegal or an atrocity against an innocent IndianThis one featured comments from the World Economic Forum specifically its Global Risks Report for 2019 The reason I found it interesting was that listed between the usual warnings about climate change cyber attacks and terrorism was the seemingly innocuous threat of loneliness Apparently the reason for its appearance on the list was new proof that revealed how loneliness does more than impact ones health it has serious repercussions for a countrys economy tooI had until that point never looked at that condition as threatening It was an eyeopening momentMuch has been said about how common this is how it affects one in three adults across First World countries how it damages the brain and immune system or how it can lead to depression and in some cases even suicide Studies repeatedly show that it increases ones risk of dying prematurely but almost all of these reports are based on data gathered in shores far from our ownA couple of years ago the National Mental Health Survey of India warned about the increasing risk of suicides the vulnerability of children and adolescents to mental disorders and how nearly 10 per cent of Indias population was affected by depression and anxiety Naturally ours being a country more obsessed with the dead than the living the report was quickly forgotten almost immediately after it appeared A year later in 2017 the Centre for the Study of Developing Societies published a report revealing that 12 per cent of youth admitted to feeling depressed with 8 per cent feeling lonely frequently Given the size of the sample extrapolation of that data ought to have rung warning bells Nothing happenedThere were a number of things that made me realise just how our city enables isolation though I lived in the same building for 25 years before moving to another suburb At the time of moving I said goodbye to just one neighbour even though there were approximately 12 other families on the property I simply didnt know them well enough to tell them I was leaving which still mystifies meMoving to another building didnt change things drastically either I nodded at more people this time and exchanged pleasantries at our annual general body meetings but still know nothing about what theyre like Neither of us has ever shared a meal at our homes and I have resigned myself to the fact that we will all grow old in these bubbles of our own making safe in the knowledge that we were good neighbours who didnt engage with anyone in a meaningful mannerA close friend of mine who moved to Bombay a decade ago often talks about how impossible it is for a single woman or man to make friends here I assumed it was easy at first but eventually came around to her point of view because she was talking about meaningful relationships while all we offer are dating apps Facebook groups and bar nights where strangers can play board games for a couple of hours before going back to their empty apartments She told me of moving from rental to rental property never knowing who her neighbours were because they all made an effort to avoid single women and were wary of bachelorsWhom do people reach out to when they are alone in strange new cities Whom do they call during an emergency when theyre ill or need help at midnight I wonder if my inability to reach out to neighbours over the years inadvertently made it harder for them to accept a place far from home and if the simple act of conversing could have helped alleviate the crippling loneliness that any of us risks experiencing if we ever move away from our comfort zonesBig cities exacerbate loneliness because they are powered by a million desires to succeed above everything and everyone else They reward those who pursue goals at the expense of relationships which is why corporate India celebrates those who work 12 hours a day rather than those who maintain a worklife balance We have moved so far from the path of those who came before us that we no longer step outside our lanes to see how the person alongside is doing Cant we at the very least take time out to stop and say helloWhen he isnt ranting about all things Mumbai Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet He tweets lindsaypereira Send your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomCatch up on all the latest Mumbai news crime news current affairs and also a complete guide on Mumbai from food to things to do and events across the city here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates